AUGUST 28, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: Engineers Disagree on Tunnel Seepage Issues. Impact: This debate over tunnel leaks led to endless meetings and a new species of engineer: the Seepologist. They now roam the streets, muttering about moisture control while the rest of us just try to avoid puddles.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more waterproof than these engineers' arguments is the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel itself? Spoiler alert: it's not waterproof..
• Headline: Israel's Evidence Against Syria in 1951. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction of data exchanges that ultimately led to the creation of a new profession: the International Spreadsheet Specialist. They now handle all the important paperwork while the rest of the world just argues.. Fact: Fun fact: The U.N. was so impressed with Israel's data that they considered starting a book club, but then realized they'd just end up arguing over the plot twists..
• Headline: July Car Sales Hit 18-Month Low. Impact: As car sales plummeted, the underground movement of bicycle enthusiasts surged, leading to a renaissance in spandex fashion and a sharp increase in 'I Love My Bike' bumper stickers.. Fact: Did you know that the last time car sales dipped this low, people actually considered walking? Shocking, I know..
• Headline: 85 in Human Chain Free Pair in Cave. Impact: This heroic act inspired a series of motivational posters that now hang in offices worldwide, proving that sometimes all you need to succeed is 85 strangers and a cave.. Fact: Did you know that this event was almost turned into a reality TV show called 'Cave Rescue: The Ultimate Team Building Exercise'? Ratings plummeted when they realized no one would want to watch people in a dark cave..
• Headline: Prague to Speed Buying Of Key Materials Abroad. Impact: This move caused a minor spike in international shipping rates, leading to the creation of a new sport: Extreme Importing. Competitors race to get materials without losing their sanity or their wallets.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time Prague sped up buying materials, they accidentally ordered enough rubber chickens to supply every comedy club in Europe for a decade..
• Headline: SABRE SQUADRON REACHES BRITAIN; 25 Jets Are the First So Far Assigned by U.S. to Bolster Western Europe's Defense. Impact: This deployment sparked a frenzy of jet-themed merchandise that helped finance an entire generation of airshow enthusiasts, making 'winged wonders' the hottest trend in birthday parties.. Fact: Did you know that the Sabre jets were so popular they were almost cast in a Hollywood movie? Spoiler: they didn’t get the role; the script was too ‘down to earth’ for them..
• Headline: GORDON INDICTED IN NARCOTICS CASE; Old-Time 'Beer Baron' Faces Possible Life Sentence-- His Bail Set at $250,000. Impact: This indictment led to a surge in craft breweries, as the public suddenly realized they could drink 'legally' and not have to deal with the drama of an old-time 'beer baron.'. Fact: Did you know that Gordon's trial was the inspiration for at least three crime novels, two documentaries, and a reality show? Sadly, no one watched the last one..
• Headline: STRIKE CHOKES OFF COPPER, LEAD, ZINC; 58,000 Workers Out, 50 Plants in 15 States Affected-- Production at 5%. Impact: The strike led to a temporary shortage of shiny objects, causing a surge in the popularity of 'homemade' art projects using toilet paper rolls and glitter. The crafting community has never been the same.. Fact: Did you know that when production halts, the world's supply of DIY Pinterest projects skyrockets? Just wait until you see the toilet paper roll sculptures from this era!.