JUNE 1, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: Admiral Sherman Testifies on Fleet Readiness. Impact: If Admiral Sherman hadn't alerted the fleet, an unexpected naval fashion show might have taken place instead, with sailors strutting their stuff on the catwalk, leading to a new trend in military uniforms—much to the dismay of future historians.. Fact: Admiral Sherman was once convinced that ‘waterproof uniforms’ were the key to naval supremacy. Spoiler: they weren't..
• Headline: Florida Upholds Racing Bill Veto. Impact: The upheld racing bill veto sparked a revolution in press freedom, ultimately leading to the invention of race-commentary podcasts that nobody asked for but everyone pretended to enjoy.. Fact: Florida's legislature has a history of making decisions that confound the universe, like traffic circles that require advanced math to navigate..
• Headline: Paramount's Investment in Telemeter Corp. Impact: Paramount's investment in video technology was so pivotal that it led to the invention of the binge-watch, which eventually caused the rise of the couch potato as a legitimate career choice.. Fact: The first movie ever shown on TV was a silent film, proving that even back then, people preferred their entertainment without dialogue..
• Headline: V.A. Warns of Deadline For New G.I. Insurance. Impact: The VA's warning about G.I. insurance created a ripple effect that resulted in countless veterans becoming insurance salesmen, forever changing the landscape of awkward family gatherings.. Fact: The term 'G.I.' originally stood for 'Government Issue,' but later came to mean 'Gosh, I hope I don't have to fill out more forms.'.
• Headline: HELD AS DRAFT DODGER; Secretary of Labor Youth League Arrested Here by F.B.I.. Impact: This incident of draft dodging led to an underground movement that inspired a generation of young people to ‘dodge’ responsibilities in general, setting the stage for modern procrastination.. Fact: The Secretary of Labor Youth League was once a secret society dedicated to finding the best places to hide from adult responsibilities..
• Headline: 2 WALKOUTS LOOM AT WESTINGHOUSE; A.F.L. and C.I.O. Unions Map Strikes This Month in Fight on 9-Cent Pay Offer. Impact: The looming strike at Westinghouse was so impactful that it led to the invention of the coffee break, during which workers would secretly plot their next demands over lattes.. Fact: Strikes in the 1950s were often accompanied by elaborate picket signs, some of which were more artistic than the works hanging in modern art galleries today..
• Headline: Woman Court Clerk Convicted as Bookie; Just Phoned in Friends' Bets, She Holds. Impact: The conviction of the court clerk as a bookie opened the floodgates for underground gambling rings, leading to a spike in the popularity of poker nights among suburban dads.. Fact: In her defense, the court clerk claimed she was merely 'taking bets on who could find the best excuse for being late to work.'.
• Headline: TOBEY ASKS INQUIRY ON R.F.C. RAIL LOAN; Says Report, Withheld in '47, Backed Official Investigation of Aid to the B. & O.. Impact: Tobey's inquiry on the R.F.C. rail loan resulted in a series of government investigations that eventually led to the invention of bureaucratic paperwork, a feat of human endurance.. Fact: The R.F.C. was so fond of paperwork, it once attempted to file a tax return for a pet goldfish..
• Headline: CRANE FILES COURT ACTION; Seeks to Compel City to Reinstate Him as a Fireman. Impact: Crane's court action became a landmark case for reinstating employees, which led to the modern-day phenomenon of people demanding their jobs back after a vacation.. Fact: Crane's reinstatement petition was the first documented instance of someone trying to negotiate their return with a 'please, I promise I'll be good this time.'.