MARCH 9, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Wage Orders Promote Salary Increases. Impact: The wage orders led to an unexpected uprising of office workers, who began to demand better coffee in addition to better pay, resulting in the infamous 'Coffee Revolution of 1951' that inspired baristas everywhere to unionize.. Fact: It's funny how people will fight over money, but not for better workplace snacks. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Best in Show at NY Photo Exhibit. Impact: This photo being voted best in show led to a massive increase in ego among photographers, ultimately resulting in a reality show where they compete for the title of 'Most Dramatic Lens.' Spoiler: they all win.. Fact: Fame in photography is just a click away! Until you realize the only ones who care are your mom and a handful of Instagram followers..
• Headline: Senators Endorse Troops for Europe. Impact: The endorsement of troops for Europe led to the creation of a secret society of senators who formed a club called 'The Euro Troopers,' where they strategized over who could wear the best camouflage suits to impress their constituents.. Fact: Nothing says 'let’s unite' like sending troops overseas while still arguing over who gets to control the thermostat in the Senate..
• Headline: INDICTED JUDGE TO RUN; Haverstraw Official Seeks to Hold Office as Independent. Impact: The U.N. sanctions study led to an unexpected side effect: a global trend of people throwing 'sanction parties' where they would ironically celebrate the things they couldn't have.. Fact: If only we could sanction bad decisions as easily as we can sanction nations. The world would be a better place!.
• Headline: SANCTIONS STUDY GOES ON; U.N. Group Holds 2d Meeting -Names New Subcommittee. Impact: Dewey’s backing of the pension bill inspired a national movement of retired folks who began to set up a 'Dewey Fund' to finance their bingo nights, leading to the largest bingo tournament in history.. Fact: A $75 pension may sound small until you realize that the average bingo bet can turn that into a fortune... or a very busy night with a lot of yelling..
• Headline: BILL FOR $75 PENSI0N IS BACKED BY DEWEY. Impact: McCarthy’s admission about paying taxes led to a sudden increase in tax evasion attempts among politicians, who thought maybe they could just say they were too busy to deal with it. Spoiler alert: they were not.. Fact: It's comforting to know that even senators have trouble with taxes. They’re just like us, except they have a lot more ways to dodge them..
• Headline: M'CARTHY PAYS '49 TAX; It's Illegal, but He's Too Busy to Appeal, He Tells Wisconsin. Impact: The shipping world’s interest led to a bizarre subculture of maritime enthusiasts who began holding pirate-themed parties, eventually leading to the rise of 'Pirate Week'—which is just a lot of fun and questionable fashion choices.. Fact: If you think shipping logistics is boring, just wait until you hear about the thrilling world of dock maintenance! It’s basically the Super Bowl for boat nerds..
• Headline: EVENTS OF INTEREST IN SHIPPING WORLD; Maritime Board Plans Hearing on Grace Line Subsidy Plea for Caribbean Service R.C. Lee Off for South America Northern Cruise for Caronia Transportation Group Meets. Impact: The end of the Tibet War led to a peaceful period where monks began holding yoga classes for G.I.s, inadvertently starting the trend of military mindfulness that swept through armed forces worldwide.. Fact: Who knew that a war could end with yoga? 'Namaste' may just be the secret weapon we never knew we needed..
• Headline: 4-Month Tibet War Ended By Chinese Red Assurance; G.I.'S RELAX AFTER RELEASE BY CHINESE REDS. Impact: Monaghan's decision to bar Crane from the Welfare Fund group sparked a fierce inter-union rivalry that led to a soap opera-style feud, complete with dramatic cliffhangers and surprise guest appearances by retired firemen.. Fact: When unions fight, it’s less about the money and more about who gets the last donut at meetings. The real tragedy here is the pastry loss..
• Headline: EX-FIREMAN LOSES POST; Monaghan's Order Bars Crane From Welfare Fund Group.