FEBRUARY 8, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: Schenk Becomes President of Sun Tube. Impact: R S Schenk's ascension to the presidency not only transformed Sun Tube Corporation but also inadvertently sparked a global tube obsession, leading to a bizarre underground market for vintage sun tubes in the 2020s.. Fact: Did you know that R S Schenk's presidency was the last time anyone cared about tubes until the invention of YouTube?.
• Headline: British Labor's Steel Nationalization Victory. Impact: The narrow victory for Attlee's government set off a series of events that would lead to British politicians using the phrase 'steel yourself' at every opportunity, including during yoga classes.. Fact: Despite the dramatic vote, the most intense battle that year was between tea brands over who had the best blend—spoiler alert: it was always Yorkshire..
• Headline: Significant Surge in Bank Earnings. Impact: The doubling of bank notes in earnings led to a financial bubble that caused a nationwide shortage of wallets, eventually leading to the invention of the fanny pack. Thanks, 1949!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing that doubled faster than bank earnings in '50 was the number of people regretting their fashion choices with fanny packs..
• Headline: Jansen Directs School Officials to Watch Pupils for Any Signs of Narcotic Addiction. Impact: Jansen's directive to watch for narcotic addiction in students created a generation of overzealous school officials who mistook caffeine-fueled energy for drug use, resulting in a nationwide coffee shortage in the '80s.. Fact: And here you thought teachers were just looking for a reason to take away your snacks. Nope, they were just trying to save the world from a caffeine crisis..
• Headline: DEMAND INCREASES FOR U.S. MATERIALS. Impact: The increased demand for U.S. materials led to a bizarre arms race, not of weapons, but of 'who can build the tallest skyscraper'—thank you, supply chains!. Fact: Fun fact: The tallest skyscraper built during this time was actually a giant warehouse for all the unused materials from failed attempts at skyscraping..
• Headline: PUERTO RICO BEGINS 3 NATIONALISTS' TRIAL. Impact: The trial of Puerto Rico's nationalists ignited a series of debates on independence that baffled historians and led to a sudden spike in the popularity of Puerto Rican cuisine across America.. Fact: Did you know that the nationalists' defense was simply 'We just wanted more mofongo!'? Because who wouldn't want that?.
• Headline: Carnegie Scientist Heads Brookhaven Corporation. Impact: The appointment of a Carnegie scientist to head Brookhaven Corporation led to an unexpected increase in nerdiness levels in corporate boardrooms, ultimately resulting in mandatory science fairs at every company retreat.. Fact: This was the beginning of the trend where graphing calculators became the new status symbol in the corporate world..
• Headline: WAGE BOARD LETS SOME SCALES RISE; Authorizes Regional Unit to Rule on Pay Increases Under Commitment and Practice. Impact: The wage board's decision to let some scales rise led to a new phenomenon called 'salary inflation,' where employees began demanding raises for simply showing up, paving the way for 'You owe me for breathing' demands.. Fact: Fun fact: The wage board's next big decision was to determine if showing up in pajamas qualified as a 'casual dress day' or a 'merit-based bonus'..
• Headline: U. S. CIVIL ECONOMY SEEN UNHAMPERED; Barring Shooting War, Even Metal Controls Are Planned to End in Two Years. Impact: The prediction of an unhindered civil economy sparked a nationwide movement for 'Metal Mondays,' where people would wear metal to celebrate economic freedom—thank you, defense aides!. Fact: In retrospect, no one really understood why metal was chosen, but it led to a lot of awkward headbanging at office parties..