JANUARY 16, 1951

Full News Archive

• Headline: 1951 Influenza Outbreak: Type A Virus Identified. Impact: This outbreak led to a series of public health initiatives that, through bureaucratic red tape, ultimately resulted in the invention of the phrase 'better safe than sorry'—a motto that would haunt us every flu season thereafter.. Fact: Did you know that the 'A' in Type A doesn't stand for Amazing? Because that’s the exact opposite of how people felt during the outbreak..
• Headline: Truman Submits $71 Billion Budget. Impact: This budgetary decision inadvertently led to the creation of an entire generation of politicians who believe that balancing a budget is just about adding and subtracting zeros.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Peacetime high' is a euphemism for 'we're spending all our money on things that go boom.'.
• Headline: Franklin's Return to a Changed NYC. Impact: Franklin's return sparked a bizarre trend of historical reenactments, leading to a world where every school kid thinks they can rewrite history by dressing up as a Founding Father.. Fact: Benjamin Franklin was a fan of electricity, but ironically, what shocks us most is how his ideas still resonate in today’s political landscape..
• Headline: Belgrade Convicts 7 as Spies. Impact: This event set off a chain reaction of spy novels and Hollywood films depicting espionage as a glamorous lifestyle, leading to an entire generation believing that trench coats and dark sunglasses are the keys to a successful career in spying.. Fact: Fun fact: The real spies were probably just trying to borrow a cup of sugar. But, you know, Cold War drama..
• Headline: EISENHOWER PLANS QUICK LISBON TRIP; General to Be There Overnight --Portuguese Cite Lack of Spain in Defense Pact Lisbon a Key Port. Impact: Eisenhower's quick trip led to an endless series of 'quick trips' by politicians everywhere, resulting in the modern phenomenon of jet-setting leaders who seem to think they can solve world issues in a layover.. Fact: Did you know that 'quick trip' is a euphemism for 'I'm avoiding my responsibilities back home'? Major leaders must have a PhD in that..
• Headline: DEFENSE PLAN VAST; 41 Billion Expenditure Is Estimated for the 1952 Fiscal Year 21 BILLION FOR 1951 Money to Provide Army of 3 Million and Air and Sea Expansion 61 BILLION SOUGHT FOR ARMS BUILD-UP Most to Go for Armament 182 Billion Outlay in 2 Years Figures for 10 Years Given. Impact: This massive expenditure opened the floodgates for defense contractors to invent ever more elaborate weapons, resulting in an arms race that could only be matched by a toddler's desire for more toys.. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked 182 billion dollars in dollar bills, you could reach the moon? Just kidding, that money would disappear into the black hole of government spending!.
• Headline: Girl Gets Truman Note Lauding Political Decision. Impact: This sweet note inspired a generation of children to think that they could influence politics, leading to the eventual rise of social media influencers who now believe their opinions on everything from breakfast cereal to world peace matter.. Fact: Fun fact: That girl probably kept the note as a treasured memento, unaware that it would eventually be overshadowed by TikTok dances and Instagram selfies..
• Headline: AIR WARDEN CHIEFS TAKE DEFENSE ROLE; SWEARING IN CIVIL DEFENSE VOLUNTEER ZONE COMMANDERS. Impact: This swearing-in ceremony led to an explosion of neighborhood watch programs, where people thought they could save the world by just watching their neighbors' houses—because that’s totally how heroes are made.. Fact: Did you know that being a neighborhood watch commander comes with the same amount of power as a hall monitor? Just way more drama and less authority..