DECEMBER 20, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: Curbing Defense Profits in 1950. Impact: The call for curbs on defense profits inspired a global movement of thriftiness that ironically resulted in a rise of DIY nuclear shelters. Thanks, Ruml Committee, for making everyone paranoid yet resourceful!. Fact: Fun fact: The National Planning Association once tried to negotiate with a vending machine to lower snack prices. Spoiler: It did not go well..
• Headline: World News Summarized. Impact: Truman announcing speedier reinforcements ignited a chain reaction where every world leader suddenly developed a caffeine addiction. The result? A global coffee shortage that still haunts us today.. Fact: Truman was known for his love of coffee, but little did he know, he was also fueling the future rise of barista culture!.
• Headline: Yugoslavia Sentences Ex-Aide. Impact: The sentencing of ex-aide Blagojevitch in Yugoslavia sent shockwaves through the embezzlement world, leading to a clandestine meeting of corrupt officials who decided to form a book club instead. Their first read? 'How to Get Away with Murder... in Government'.. Fact: Did you know? Embezzlers prefer to call it 'creative accounting'. It's all about branding!.
• Headline: Columbia Picks 1st Topic For 'American Assembly'. Impact: Columbia's selection of a topic for the American Assembly led to a secret agenda where all future discussions would revolve around the best ways to avoid discussing actual issues. This paved the way for endless debates about pineapple on pizza.. Fact: Fun fact: The first American Assembly meeting almost focused on the benefits of napping instead of U.S.-Western Europe relations. Clearly, they had their priorities straight!.
• Headline: General's Job Onerous; Eisenhower Commands a 'Shadow Force' to Hold Off Red Hordes in Western Europe Timing Handicaps General French Problem Uppermost. Impact: Eisenhower's shadow force to hold off the Red hordes led to an accidental invention of 'shadow puppetry' as a distraction tactic, resulting in a global fascination with shadow art that still captivates audiences today.. Fact: Did you know? Eisenhower was actually a master of shadow puppets himself. Who knew command could involve such artistic flair?.
• Headline: POLAND OUSTS 2 BRITONS; Speedy Departure of Consular Officials Is Demanded. Impact: Poland ousting two Britons sparked a bizarre international trend where diplomatic expulsions became a way to start social media feuds. Now, countries compete for the most dramatic exit.. Fact: Fun fact: The consular officials were actually on their way to give a TED talk on 'How to Leave Parties Gracefully'..