DECEMBER 5, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: Iran's Army Cancels Troop Leaves. Impact: The cancellation of leaves for Iran's army initiated a chain reaction where soldiers began to wonder if their lives were just one long, exhausting military event. This ultimately led to the invention of the 'stay-cation' as a concept—because nothing says relaxation like being forced to stay at work.. Fact: Did you know that the army's idea of a vacation involves a lot less sunbathing and a lot more marching? Talk about a buzzkill..
• Headline: U.N. RED CHINA STEP IN ASSEMBLY URGED; Six-Nations Move to Transfer Korea Intervention Issue From Security Council U.N. RED CHINA STEP IN ASSEMBLY URGED Security Council May Meet Text of Telegram Washington Decision Awaited. Impact: The push to include China in the UN Assembly transformed international diplomacy into a game of geopolitical chess, where every move could mean the difference between world peace and awkward tea parties. This eventually inspired countless board games, including 'Risk: Diplomat Edition.'. Fact: Did you know that 'diplomatic discussions' often involve more snacks than actual discussions? Who knew peace could be so delicious?.
• Headline: O'CONOR HEARS SHIP HAS LOAD FOR CHINA; Reads Message in the Senate From Crew at Hong Kong, Asks U.S. to Act Line Says It Observes Rules Ships on Coast Told to Unload Hong Kong Merchants Seek Data. Impact: Senator O'Conor's reading from the Flying Clipper crew led to a worldwide shortage of shipping containers, which in turn resulted in the establishment of 'DIY shipping' tutorials on YouTube. The irony? Everyone still preferred to just order everything online.. Fact: Did you know that the Flying Clipper was actually a ship? Because it sounds more like a fancy haircut for seagulls..
• Headline: Douglas Fairbanks Jr. Elected. Impact: Douglas Fairbanks Jr.'s election to the board marked the beginning of Hollywood's takeover of serious business discussions, resulting in countless meetings that felt more like film auditions. The real winners? The popcorn vendors.. Fact: Did you know that Douglas Fairbanks Jr. was known for his dashing good looks? Too bad that doesn't translate to boardroom respect..
• Headline: Mutual Investment Fund Names New President. Impact: H.T. Vance's election as president of the Mutual Investment Fund sparked a series of investment trends that led to the rise of avocado toast as a financial staple for millennials. Because nothing screams 'wealth management' like smashed avocados.. Fact: Did you know that mutual funds are basically a group of people pooling their money to invest in things? Kind of like a bake sale, but with less frosting and more spreadsheets..
• Headline: CAPT. GUSTAVEBROWN, BYRD EXPEDITION AIDE. Impact: The announcement of Captain Gustave Brown from the Byrd Expedition cemented his legacy as the go-to guy for all things polar. His name would later become synonymous with 'adventurer' in every bad adventure movie script ever written.. Fact: Did you know that the Byrd Expedition was less about exploration and more about finding the best hot cocoa recipe in Antarctica? Priorities, people!.