NOVEMBER 15, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: State Department's Stance on Subversive Ban. Impact: This inquiry into the subversive ban was the initial spark that ignited a thousand conspiracy theories about government cover-ups, leading to the creation of the 'Paranoid Citizens Club' where members meet bi-weekly to discuss their favorite theories. Fact: The only thing more convoluted than government inquiries is the average family reunion.
• Headline: KENNETH CHAMBERS, ADVERTISING AIDE, 57. Impact: Kenneth Chambers' contributions to advertising were so profound that they caused a ripple effect in the industry, leading to the first-ever ad campaign for time travel insurance – because, you know, better safe than sorry!. Fact: Advertising aids have historically been the unsung heroes, battling against the overwhelming tide of bad slogans and worse jingles.
• Headline: Vago Losses Plea to Cut Bail. Impact: Vago’s plea for bail highlighted the flaws in the justice system, ultimately leading to a nationwide movement for more lenient bail policies – which somehow resulted in every criminal thinking they could get away with anything. Fact: The only thing more complex than the legal system is trying to understand the rules of Monopoly.
• Headline: BROTHMAN A SPY, SAYS MISS BENTLEY; Testifies He Furnished Her With Many Blueprints to Give to Communist Leader. Impact: Miss Bentley’s testimony is a classic example of how one person's betrayal can lead to a series of espionage films that glorify spying, paving the way for a generation of people who think they can pull off a secret mission armed only with a smartphone. Fact: Spying is the only profession where your success is measured by how well you can keep your mouth shut – and yet, everyone still seems to spill the beans!.
• Headline: U. N. UNIT ADVANCES TO POINT 35 MILES FROM MANCHURIA; South Korean Soldiers Strike Northwest From Kilchu in Switch of Attack MARINES NEAR RESERVOIR Seventh Division Also Drives for Second Power Source-- Foe Loses Another Jet Marines Near Big Reservoir Small Gains Made in West U. N. UNIT ADVANCES NEARER MANCHURIA Naval Guns Blast Enemy MRS. CHENNAULT SIGNING HER CITIZENSHIP PAPERS. Impact: The U.N. unit's advance towards Manchuria was the beginning of many more military operations, creating a historical precedent that would inspire countless action films and video games about heroic soldiers saving the day – or just creating more chaos. Fact: Military advances are often just a fancy way of saying 'we're moving the problem somewhere else!'.