OCTOBER 12, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: Greek Guerrillas Receive New Aid. Impact: The Greek guerrillas' resurgence became the spark that ignited a series of Balkan conflicts, leading to a future where every Balkan nation has a Pinterest board dedicated to guerrilla warfare. Who knew conflict could be so stylish?. Fact: Poland and Albania's 'generosity' in sending aid can probably be traced back to their shared interest in keeping things chaotic. It's like a group project gone wrong, but with more guns..
• Headline: Socialists Defeated in Austria 1950. Impact: The Socialists' defeat by the Reds in Austria sent shockwaves through the political landscape, eventually leading to a reality TV show about political debates that no one asked for. Thanks, history!. Fact: When Austrians visited the White House, they probably expected to meet the President, not a few over-caffeinated interns trying to figure out how to brew a decent cup of coffee..
• Headline: Earl Annesley's Health Crisis at Ellis Island. Impact: Earl Annesley's trip to Ellis Island for medical treatment inadvertently inspired the creation of a future TV drama about dramatic immigration stories, complete with plot twists and a romantic subplot involving a customs officer.. Fact: Ellis Island was basically the original 'hold my place in line' spot for immigrants. Who knew waiting for medical treatment could be so iconic?.
• Headline: 16 RAILROAD UNIONS DECIDE TO ASK RISE IN PAY FOR 1,085,000; Fifteen Non-Operating Groups to Demand 25-Cent-an-Hour Increase, Firemen 35 Cents SEEK NATIONAL PARLEYS Leaders Will Attempt to Hurry Negotiations and Get Accord Before Possible Wage Freeze 16 RAILWAY UNIONS TO SEEK A PAY RISE Government in Possession Firemen Had Rise in 1948. Impact: The railroad unions' quest for a pay rise ultimately led to the creation of the 'Train Whistle' union, which only negotiated for better sound effects for trains. Talk about priorities!. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, asking for a 25-cent raise might seem small, but it's the kind of thing that could lead to a nationwide uprising of disgruntled train conductors. Watch out!.
• Headline: SCHUMAN REQUESTS FREEDOM OF ARTISTS. Impact: W. Schuman's request for freedom of artists started a chain reaction that led to every hipster ever claiming they were an 'artist' while sipping overpriced coffee in a beanie.. Fact: The role of musicians in crises is often overlooked. In reality, every time a crisis happens, somewhere a musician is trying to decide if they should write a protest song or just stick to their day job..
• Headline: U.N. Unit in Indonesia Bids Security Council Start Action to Resolve Ambonia Conflict. Impact: The U.N. Unit's plea for intervention in Indonesia foreshadowed a world where countries would argue over territories like children squabbling over toys in a sandbox. Spoiler alert: no one wins.. Fact: The Ambonia conflict? It sounds like a bad Netflix series that keeps getting canceled before the climax. Someone give these folks better PR!.
• Headline: ARTHUR W. DAWES, UPSTATE CHEMIST; General Aniline Aide 50 Years Dies--Helped Develop First Aspirin in This Country. Impact: Arthur W. Dawes' contributions to aspirin development paved the way for future scientists to create a billion-dollar headache remedy industry, ensuring that no one ever has to suffer in silence again—unless they forget to take their pills.. Fact: Dawes helped develop aspirin, which is basically the world's most popular 'everything will be okay' pill. No wonder people were so keen on him!.
• Headline: U.S. Orders Guns in Canada. Impact: The U.S. placing orders for guns in Canada led to a future where all international negotiations came with a side of maple syrup and passive-aggressive politeness.. Fact: Buying guns from Canada is like buying a sweater from someone who knits with love—there's a certain cozy charm to it, until you remember it’s a gun..