JUNE 3, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: 1950 Federal Deficit Report Released. Impact: The deficit report sparked a nationwide obsession with debt, leading to the invention of financial therapy in the 1980s. Who knew that worrying about money could actually create a whole new profession?. Fact: Did you know that if you stacked $3,230,012,000 in $1 bills, you'd need a really, really big room? Or just a small warehouse. Either way, good luck counting them!.
• Headline: Colonel Clifford J. Starr's Milestone. Impact: Colonel Clifford J. Starr's name became synonymous with the phrase 'Who?', leading to a lifetime of confusion in military history classes. Sorry, Colonel, but even Google couldn't save you.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more obscure than Colonel Starr's legacy is the number of people who actually remember the names of their high school teachers..
• Headline: Allies and Japan Tighten Red Controls. Impact: The decision for tighter red curbs led to an underground revolution of rebellious displays, eventually resulting in the creation of an entire subculture dedicated to 'non-conformist' public art. Thanks, Memorial Day!. Fact: You know it's serious when the word 'curbs' is involved. It's like putting a leash on creativity. Just wait until they start regulating the color of our socks!.
• Headline: 7 COLONIAL HOMES TO ADMIT VISITORS; ON VIEW TODAY IN A TOUR OF CONNECTICUT SHORE HOUSES. Impact: The opening of 7 Colonial homes led to a dramatic increase in the number of people using the phrase 'back in my day'—a phrase that would eventually dominate family gatherings for generations.. Fact: Apparently, you can visit Colonial homes, but good luck finding a Wi-Fi signal. Who needs the internet when you can admire a fireplace from 1732?.
• Headline: DR. JULIAN D. LEVINSON. Impact: Dr. Julian D. Levinson's name will echo through time as that one guy who showed up to every important meeting, but no one can remember what he actually contributed. Spoiler alert: It wasn't much.. Fact: Fun fact: The most memorable thing about Dr. Levinson is that he was the reason people started using name tags at events. Thanks for the awkward introductions!.
• Headline: CHURCHES CHIDED ON 'COLD WAR' ROLE; Failure to 'Guide Conscience' Laid by Professor Niebuhr to Protestant and Catholic Need to Make Faith Relevant Collection to Aid Winnipeg United Lutheran Synod to Meet Ordination of 58 as Priests Suffragan Bishop to Preach Lecture on Autograph Quest Christian Science Lesson Japanese to Be Ordained Literacy Expert to Speak Centenary of Brooklyn Church Guest Preacher for Month Assemblies of God to Convene Anniversary as Clergyman Communion for Firemen Church Sunday Designated. Impact: The chiding of churches during the Cold War inadvertently inspired a new wave of hipster churches that would later serve avocado toast and craft lattes during sermons. Because who needs spiritual guidance when you have brunch?. Fact: Did you know that 'guiding conscience' is a fancy way of saying, 'Stop just sitting there and actually do something'? Apparently, it was lost in translation!.
• Headline: YUGOSLAVIA IN AIR BODY; World Aeronautical Federation Approves Her Unanimously. Impact: Yugoslavia's acceptance into the World Aeronautical Federation set the stage for a highly competitive spirit in air sports that would lead to unregulated backyard skydiving competitions in the 21st century. Buckle up!. Fact: 132 jumps in one day? That's like the Olympic version of 'hold my beer.' Can you imagine the insurance premiums on that?.
• Headline: 6 Nations to Hold Pool Talks, Leaving Door Open to Britain; SIX NATIONS AGREE TO HOLD POOL TALK Door Kept Open for Britain British Still Seek a Formula. Impact: The six nations' negotiations without Britain created a historical precedent for the 'we'll talk without you' strategy, which would be used in every family argument for decades to come. Thanks, diplomacy!. Fact: Did you know the door left open for Britain was actually just an elaborate metaphor for them needing to be reminded they were still invited to the party?.
• Headline: MORRIS S. SILVER. Impact: Morris S. Silver’s name became a popular choice for fictional characters in countless novels, leading to an era where every main character had either a 'Morris' or a 'Silver' in their name. It’s the literary equivalent of wearing the same outfit as someone else.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing shinier than Morris S. Silver’s name is the silverware at a fancy dinner party!.
• Headline: A MIDTOWN EXPRESSWAY. Impact: The idea of a Midtown expressway stirred such confusion that it inspired the creation of the 'Lost Tourist' phenomenon, where people would literally get lost trying to navigate their way through city infrastructure. Good luck, New York!. Fact: If you think an expressway is going to make things easier, just wait until you hit rush hour. It's like a game of musical chairs, but with cars!.