MAY 18, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: House Votes to Cut Capital Gains Tax. Impact: By slashing the capital gains tax, the House inadvertently triggered a chain reaction that led to a sudden surge in investment in pet rocks and lava lamps, forever changing the landscape of 70s home decor.. Fact: The only reason you know what a 'capital gains tax' is today is because someone at a dinner party in 1970 awkwardly started discussing it instead of the weather..
• Headline: Lie's Assurance Amid Moscow Discussions. Impact: If only Stalin had taken up yoga instead of politics, the rumors of his illness would have led to a global wellness revolution instead of a Cold War. But alas, downward dog was not on the agenda.. Fact: Moscow's idea of 'good health' may have been a little different—think of it as a 'no news is good news' policy, which is ironic coming from a regime that thrived on propaganda..
• Headline: Buick's Record Dynaflow Transmission Production. Impact: Buick's production record not only set a benchmark for car manufacturing but also inspired a whole generation of garage mechanics to believe they could fix anything, including their relationships.. Fact: The Dynaflow transmission was so smooth that many thought it was just a fancy name for the driver’s ability to avoid potholes..
• Headline: Boy, 11, Is a Sixth Grader And University Freshman. Impact: By accepting an 11-year-old into university, the education system unknowingly paved the way for future prodigies to invent time machines, making every boring lecture a thing of the past.. Fact: B Gordon probably had more intellectual debates in his sixth-grade classroom than most adults in their entire lives—thank you, childhood innocence!.
• Headline: SEEKS FUNDS FOR ROADS; State Highway Group Offers a New Plan for Motor Revenues. Impact: This plan to keep road funds from being diverted likely led to the invention of carpool karaoke, as people tried to distract themselves from the potholes they were driving over.. Fact: The only thing more thrilling than a new plan for motor revenues is watching paint dry—at least the paint won’t give you a headache..
• Headline: ERICKSON'S RECORDS OF GAMBLING BARE UNDERWORLD LINKS; Partner With Adonis, Lanskys and Other Racketeers in 2 Florida Gaming Casinos $685,538 PROFIT ONE YEAR Two Notes of Frank Costello for $50,000 Also Cited in the Fight for Seized Documents Link Bared at Hearing ERICKSON RECORDS UNDERWORLD LINK. Impact: Erickson's gambling connections ultimately inspired aspiring mobsters to use more elaborate disguises, leading to the rise of the 'mobster in a Hawaiian shirt' trend.. Fact: If you think casino gambling is all fun and games, you should see the paperwork involved—it's basically a game of Monopoly gone horribly wrong..
• Headline: CENTER FOR ADOLESCENTS; Brooklyn Child-Care Council to Open New Facility. Impact: The opening of a new child-care facility led to an unexpected rise in the number of future superheroes, as many of the boys grew up believing they could save the world from boredom.. Fact: Child-care centers have been known to produce more dreamers than any amount of caffeine could ever hope to achieve..
• Headline: TREATMENT URGED TO CURB SEX CRIME; 2 Psychiatrists Would Widen Diagnostic Services to Make New State Law Effective. Impact: The push for psychiatric exams for sex offenders opened the door for the 'diagnose and deny' movement, where people started diagnosing their friends with 'quirky' conditions instead of just saying they were weird.. Fact: Psychiatrists have often remarked that diagnosing someone is just a fancy way of saying, 'I see you, and it’s not pretty.'.