MAY 2, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: Service Resumes After Four-Day Strike. Impact: The resolution of the building service strike brought about the idea of 'normalcy' which, ironically, made everyone question if normal was ever actually normal. Spoiler alert: it wasn't.. Fact: Fun fact: if you look up 'normal' in the dictionary, it’s just a picture of a person furiously Googling 'how to fix everything.'.
• Headline: Liaquat Ali's Key Meeting with Attlee. Impact: Liaquat Ali's meeting with Attlee was the start of many diplomatic handshakes that would eventually lead to the awkward global 'let's just be friends' phase—thank you, politics.. Fact: Did you know that this meeting could have been a great place for a selfie? Instead, they chose to discuss world issues. Boring!.
• Headline: SINGLE UNION FAVORED BY U.S. IN ALUMINUM. Impact: The NLRB's preference for a single union in aluminum set off a chain reaction of confusion among workers, leading to the creation of the 'What Do We Call Ourselves?' committee—because clarity is overrated.. Fact: Did you know that aluminum was originally considered a luxury metal? It was like the 'fancy' version of tin foil. Times have changed!.
• Headline: 'MINES' IN YANGTZE FAIL TO HALF SHIP; Blockade Runner in a Round Trip Visit to Shanghai--Reds Seize Hainan Escape Port. Impact: The blockade runner's success inspired a series of ill-fated attempts at 'creative sailing,' leading to a surge in maritime reality shows that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that ships used to be called 'blockade runners' long before they became 'Instagram influencers'? Who knew sailing could be so glamorous?.
• Headline: DR. ELLIOTT HONORED; 300 Attend Dinner Given for Seminary Faculty Member. Impact: Dr. Elliott's honorary dinner was a pivotal moment for academia—unfortunately, it also meant everyone else had to step up their game for retirement parties. Thanks a lot, Dr. Elliott.. Fact: Did you know that Dr. Elliott’s retirement party actually ran out of cake? A tragedy that some say was the true end of an era..
• Headline: Postal Service Cuts Begin June 1 At Offices in Manhattan and Bronx; POST OFFICE CUTS WILL BEGIN JUNE 1. Impact: The postal service cuts started a trend of 'snail mail anxiety,' where people began to panic about their letters not arriving on time—spoiler, they never did.. Fact: Did you know that 'snail mail' used to be a term of endearment? Now, it’s just a reminder that your birthday card might arrive after your next birthday..
• Headline: ARGENTINA TO GET U.S. CREDIT OFFER OF $125,000,000; Truman Authorization Is Seen --Purpose Is to Fund Debts and Buy Farm Machines AID TO BRAZIL ENDORSED World Bank Loan for a Dam Backed, as Well as Fiscal Help for Chile, Mexico. Impact: Argentina receiving U.S. credit was a classic case of 'I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine,' which eventually led to the phrase 'monetary diplomacy' being coined—because why not add some flair to shady deals?. Fact: Did you know that this credit offer was actually just a really expensive way of saying, 'We like your tango, but can you pay for the lessons?'.
• Headline: Hetty Green's Estate Passes to Companion Of Her Son's Widow Under the Latter's Will. Impact: Hetty Green's estate passing to her son’s widow raised eyebrows and sparked debates about inheritance laws that would ripple through time, influencing future generations to hide their wealth under mattresses instead.. Fact: Did you know that Hetty Green was known as the 'Witch of Wall Street'? Not for her financial acumen, but because she allegedly brewed her own tea—truly terrifying..