FEBRUARY 11, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: 1933 Murder of Six-Year-Old Solved. Impact: The revelation that the girl's grandfather was the killer led to a series of family reunions where the phrase 'You really don't know where you come from' took on a whole new meaning, causing generations of awkward Thanksgiving dinners.. Fact: Despite the gruesome nature of this case, it served as a reminder that sometimes, family trees have more skeletons than branches..
• Headline: Ex-Red Alien's Deportation Upheld. Impact: This case set a precedent so that decades later, every conspiracy theorist could point at the government and say, 'They're after us!' while sitting in their mom's basement.. Fact: Fun fact: 'subversive ties' are not to be confused with your grandpa's old rubber bands holding together his collection of expired coupons..
• Headline: City Scouts Parade and Torches Illuminate NYC. Impact: The excitement of this parade led to a surge in future parades, resulting in yearly traffic jams and a national shortage of glitter.. Fact: If you think city parades are annoying now, just imagine how much more exasperating they were before the invention of phone apps to avoid them!.
• Headline: JOSEPH B. TURNER JR.. Impact: Joseph B. Turner Jr.'s life was so uneventful that historians later debated whether he even existed, leading to a brief spike in 'Where's Waldo?' merchandise.. Fact: Joseph's life was so average, it could have been a textbook case for the phrase 'meh.'.
• Headline: Plane Crewman Lost As Hatch Flies Open. Impact: This incident prompted the aviation industry to re-evaluate safety protocols, leading to the invention of the phrase 'buckle up, buttercup!' and countless in-flight safety videos.. Fact: Airlines now have a better grip on safety, but it took a guy literally falling out of the plane for them to figure that out..
• Headline: VALENTINE ROSES FIND NEW RIVALS; BOUQUETS AND CORSAGES HERALD THE COMING OF ST. VALENTINE'S DAY. Impact: The rise of bouquets and corsages created a whole new market for florists, which eventually led to the creation of Valentine's Day card companies that have since tortured couples with cheesy rhymes.. Fact: If you think roses are overrated, remember that at least they don’t try to sell you overpriced chocolates right after you buy them..
• Headline: MRS. LESLIE SUTHERLAND. Impact: Mrs. Leslie Sutherland's name was so rarely mentioned that historians are still trying to figure out if she was a real person or just a figment of someone's imagination.. Fact: Mrs. Sutherland is a reminder that sometimes, the most mundane names can hold the most mystery..
• Headline: ERNEST L. BYFIELD, HOTEL LEADER, 60; President of the Sherman and Ambassadors in Chicago Dies --Made Pump Room Famous. Impact: Byfield's death sparked a culinary renaissance in hotel dining, leading to the eventual creation of every overpriced brunch spot we know and love today.. Fact: Byfield's legacy is a testament to how one man's vision of fine dining can lead to a whole generation of brunch enthusiasts and Instagram food bloggers..
• Headline: MRS. CLEMENT CHASE. Impact: Mrs. Clement Chase's obscurity led to the eventual creation of the 'Where Are They Now?' segments that plague our television screens today.. Fact: Being Mrs. Clement Chase might sound impressive, but it’s really just a conversation starter for awkward family reunions..