JANUARY 25, 1950

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragedy Disrupts West Side IRT Service. Impact: The man who met his fate at 34th St. inadvertently created a ripple effect that led to the invention of the 'stuck in traffic' excuse, which would go on to haunt commuters and school children for decades.. Fact: In an alternate universe, this incident led to the invention of time travel... just kidding, we’re still stuck in traffic..
• Headline: French Expedition in Adelie Land. Impact: The 12 brave souls in the polar expedition discovered an ancient civilization of penguins who were secretly running the world from their icy fortress. Spoiler alert: They were not as cuddly as they seemed.. Fact: It's said that the penguins had a better grasp on global politics than most world leaders of the time..
• Headline: Jury Selection in Notable 1950 Trial. Impact: This jury selection event sparked a nationwide trend of jurors exchanging absolutely no words, leading to a boom in court silence as a form of protest. It would eventually inspire a new genre of performance art.. Fact: Gubitchev's toothache would later inspire a best-selling memoir titled 'The Pain of Justice'..
• Headline: 102 HORSES NAMED IN BELMONT STAKES; Middleground and Hill Prince Among Leading Eligibles for 3-Year-Old Race. Impact: The 102 horses named in the Belmont Stakes would inadvertently lead to the creation of a secret underground horse racing league that would shape the gambling industry for generations to come.. Fact: If you think naming 102 horses is tough, try naming 102 cats without getting distracted by their cuteness..
• Headline: IRON LODE IS FOUND IN VENEZUELA AREA. Impact: The discovery of iron ore in Venezuela ignited a worldwide obsession with mining, inadvertently leading to the first reality show based in a mine, which was a smash hit until they ran out of rocks.. Fact: This ore deposit discovery would eventually lead to the phrase 'strike it rich' being used less for gold and more for finding Wi-Fi in remote areas..
• Headline: J.W.V. HEAD SEES TRUMAN; He Expresses Appreciation for 'Tenacity' on Civil Rights. Impact: Truman's civil rights discussions with J.W.V. head could be traced back to a series of events that would eventually lead to the modern day 'Thanksgiving Dinner Debates' where political conversations get as heated as the turkey.. Fact: If only the J.W.V. had a time machine, they could have really gotten their point across with a bit of dramatic flair..
• Headline: Sylvester Confirmed as Judge. Impact: Sylvester's confirmation as judge inadvertently led to an uptick in cat-themed courtroom decor, which would later influence the design of legal offices around the nation.. Fact: Rumor has it, Sylvester was also a cat whisperer, which had no bearing on his judicial skills but certainly made for interesting court sessions..
• Headline: ATHENS HUNTS BRIGANDS; Puts $2,000 Price on Head of Alleged Leader. Impact: The $2,000 bounty on a brigand's head inspired a series of vigilante films, leading to the rise of a new genre that combined action, comedy, and a questionable approach to law enforcement.. Fact: The real brigands were reportedly offended by the low price on their heads, claiming it was a gross undervaluation of their skills..
• Headline: BILL WOULD ALLOW WORK RELIEF PLANS; Cities' Right to Set Them Up Would Be Extended Under Quinn-Steingut Measure Hilliard Working on Idea Job-Giving Plan Presented. Impact: The Quinn-Steingut measure paved the way for an endless list of economic councils that would eventually decide the fate of lunch menus in city hall cafeterias for decades to come.. Fact: If only they had spent as much time planning relief for actual jobs as they did for job-giving plans, we might not have had to endure so many awkward networking events..
• Headline: Hickenlooper to Run Again. Impact: Hickenlooper's decision to run again sparked an inexplicable chain reaction, leading to a nationwide movement where politicians began to run for office simply to avoid getting real jobs.. Fact: The name 'Hickenlooper' would later become a popular choice for pets, as it was seen as a symbol of unconditional loyalty (or perhaps just confusion)..