NOVEMBER 14, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brooklyn Zionists Support Israel's Position. Impact: This meeting sparked a series of events that would eventually lead to a bunch of folks in the Middle East not talking to each other for decades. Who knew a gathering in Brooklyn would help fuel centuries of diplomatic drama?. Fact: Zionism began long before Brooklyn was a hipster paradise. Imagine trying to explain to your barista that your coffee order is a metaphor for a historic movement!.
• Headline: Religion's Impact on American Greatness. Impact: Dr. Sockman's proclamation on religion as America's backbone may have inadvertently set off a chain reaction of Sunday brunches and guilt trips about not attending church.. Fact: Some believe Dr. Sockman was the original inspiration for the phrase, 'God helps those who help themselves'—right after he helped himself to the last donut in the break room..
• Headline: Paul Revere's 1775 Expense Account Unveiled. Impact: Paul Revere’s ride was so famous that now people think 'midnight rides' equate to spontaneous road trips. Who knew a salary dispute would lead to a historical myth that inspired countless Halloween costumes?. Fact: Revere’s expense report might have been the first instance of a historical figure complaining about low pay. I guess some things never change!.
• Headline: CHOPIN PRESENTED BY MOISEIWITSCH; Celebrated Pianist Plays Four Scherzos and Same Number of Ballades at Carnegie. Impact: Moiseiwitsch playing Chopin at Carnegie Hall may have led to a rise in piano lessons, causing parents everywhere to face the eternal struggle of dealing with their kids' musical aspirations.. Fact: If only Moiseiwitsch had played something other than Chopin, we might have a completely different view of classical music today. Think 'Chopin: The Remix'!.
• Headline: Bolivia Disclaims Disclaimer. Impact: Bolivia's disclaimer fiasco might have set a precedent for bureaucratic jargon, leading to endless legal disclaimers we see today that no one actually reads.. Fact: If disclaimers were Olympic sports, we'd be world champions by now. Just think of the medals we could win for 'Most Words That Say Nothing!'.
• Headline: WIDE STUDY URGED ON STATE FINANCES; Bipartisan 'Hoover' Inquiry Is Sought by Commerce Body to Report on Efficiency. Impact: The call for a bipartisan survey on state finances was likely the moment politicians realized they could use 'bipartisan' to sound productive while accomplishing nothing.. Fact: The term 'bipartisan' might as well be a synonym for 'let’s agree to disagree over cocktails.' Cheers to inefficiency!.
• Headline: CITY TRANSIT FACES DEFICIT FOR 1949-50 AS RIDERS DECLINE; $1,324,614 Operating Loss in July and Little Change Since Indicate Setback for Year POLIO CUT SUMMER LOAD Drop in Traffic Under Higher Fares Continues -- Hope for Rise Put in Winter Travel City Transit Faces 1949-50 Deficit Indicated by $1,324,614 July Loss. Impact: The city transit deficit may have served as a warning that if you raise fares, people will just walk, leading to the rise of urban hiking and the 'I love my city' Instagram posts.. Fact: The only thing more painful than a transit deficit is the realization that your morning commute is a daily episode of 'Survivor: City Edition.'.
• Headline: ACHESON PROMISES 'EVERY ASSISTANCE' TO WEST GERMANY; He Says in Bonn the Allies Will 'Contribute Mightily' to Nation's Development LEADERS ARE HEARTENED Secretary Also Sees Heads of Socialists -- People Give Him Distinguished Welcome ACHESON PROMISES EVERY AID TO BONN. Impact: Acheson's promise of aid to West Germany might have laid the groundwork for a questionable friendship that led to awkward reunions at diplomatic summits for decades.. Fact: Acheson could have saved everyone a lot of time by just sending a fruit basket instead of all that talk—everyone loves snacks during meetings, right?.