SEPTEMBER 24, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: Victor Wins Welsh Terrier Competition. Impact: Mrs. Alker's dog winning the show led to a sudden influx of Welsh Terriers in the neighborhood, resulting in a bizarre canine fashion trend where every dog owner felt compelled to dress their pets in plaid. This sparked a spike in plaid fabric sales, inadvertently leading to a fashion faux pas epidemic in the 80s. Fact: Did you know that Welsh Terriers were once referred to as 'the dog that thinks it's a human'? Kind of like that one friend we all have who just won't stop talking about their gluten-free diet.
• Headline: Dewey Proclaims Week for the Handicapped. Impact: Dewey naming a week for the handicapped led to an unexpected rise in the popularity of accessibility-themed events, culminating in an entire month dedicated to discussing why we can't just make everything accessible all the time. Spoiler: it's a lot of red tape. Fact: Did you know that before this week was established, the only 'handicapped' awareness we had was when someone tried to parallel park in a compact space?.
• Headline: The Legacy of Dr. Thomas C. M'Vey. Impact: Dr. Thomas C. McVey's brief mention somehow sparked a series of events leading to the establishment of an underground network of historical figures whose names were forgotten in time. They now meet annually to complain about how nobody ever remembers them. Fact: Did you know that many historians claim that if you say 'McVey' three times in front of a mirror, a ghostly figure will appear to remind you to research more obscure historical figures?.
• Headline: Cancer Patient Slain; Daughter Detained. Impact: The tragic death of the cancer patient prompted a wave of awareness about the challenges faced by families dealing with illness. This eventually led to a series of reality shows that, while well-intentioned, mostly just served to make us all feel uncomfortable while eating popcorn. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than navigating family dynamics during a tragedy is trying to explain to your friends why you can't stop watching reality TV?.
• Headline: 'SHADING' IS FOUND IN BANK LOAN RATES; Reappearance in Competitive Areas Is Noted in Survey by Federal Reserve 'SHADING' IS FOUND IN BANK LOAN RATES. Impact: The discovery of 'shading' in bank loan rates led to a widespread panic among financial analysts, who spent years trying to figure out who was shading whom. This resulted in a secret cabal of bankers developing more obscure and convoluted loan agreements that still confuse people today. Fact: Did you know that 'shading' was originally a term used in art, but now it just means 'we’re going to charge you more money for that loan you can't afford'?.
• Headline: TOMALYN HILL DOG WINS; Rascality Is Best in Dalmatian Show in Oyster Bay. Impact: Tomalyn Hill's dog winning the Dalmatian show inspired a whole generation of Dalmatians to pursue careers in acting. Who knew that all those spots could lead to Hollywood fame? Now, they’re all vying for a role in a blockbuster movie about firehouses. Fact: Did you know Dalmatians are often mistaken for being good at guarding firehouses? They just really enjoy the attention and the fire hydrants!.
• Headline: 24 DP's on Plane Speeded Past Customs To Avoid Traveling on Rosh ha-Shanah. Impact: The speedy customs clearance of the 24 DP's on the plane led to a series of bureaucratic changes that would eventually allow for expedited processing of all travelers. Now, we all get to enjoy the thrill of standing in line at customs, wondering why we didn't just take a spaceship. Fact: Did you know that Rosh ha-Shanah is also known as the 'Jewish New Year'? So basically, those 24 folks were just trying to avoid airport chaos and get to the festivities—smart move!.
• Headline: Cutting of Pine Forest; California Trees Said to Be Safe Till Argument Is Settled. Impact: The debate over cutting the California pine forest ignited a series of environmental movements that would eventually lead to the rise of hipsters who now only drink artisanal water sourced from 'untouched' forests. Who knew a few trees could change everything?. Fact: Did you know that pine trees can actually communicate with each other through their roots? So, if they could, they would probably be screaming right now about all the drama over their fate.
• Headline: MORGENTHAU RITES HELD AT EMANU-EL; 1,000 at service for Wife of Former Treasury Chief -- Mrs. Roosevelt in Eulogy. Impact: The funeral for Mrs. Morgenthau became a historical moment, marking the beginning of a movement to honor unsung heroes' spouses. As a result, a slew of memorial services were created, leading to the world's longest list of eulogies that nobody wanted to attend. Fact: Did you know that eulogies are meant to celebrate life, but they can also turn into an awkward roast if the speaker isn’t careful? Just imagine the looks on the faces of the attendees!.
• Headline: DAN W. GALLAGHER. Impact: Dan W. Gallagher's mention in the headlines led to an influx of Dan Gallaghers in the world, resulting in a bizarre phenomenon where all Dan Gallaghers became overly competitive about who had the most interesting middle name. The world has never been the same since. Fact: Did you know that the name 'Gallagher' means 'foreign helper'? So, if you ever need to help a friend with their competitive naming game, now you know who to call!.