AUGUST 18, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: Canada Route Dispute in 1949. Impact: This airline dispute led to the creation of a secret society of flight enthusiasts who believed they could influence route permits through interpretive dance. It didn't work, but they got a Netflix special out of it.. Fact: Airlines fighting over routes is like watching toddlers argue over a toy – it’s loud, pointless, and occasionally someone gets a toy thrown at their face..
• Headline: Advancements of Women in Canada, 1949. Impact: The gradual increase in women's rights in Canada led to the establishment of a new holiday: International Pretending-to-Listen-to-Your-Complaints Day. It’s celebrated with mandatory workshops on empathy.. Fact: Despite women gaining ground, the term 'man-splaining' was still not officially recognized in the dictionary. Shocking, right?.
• Headline: Cornell Scholarship Winners Announced. Impact: The scholarship winners went on to become the next wave of influential leaders, eventually leading to a renaissance of mediocre puns in academia. We can only thank them for the dad jokes of tomorrow.. Fact: Winning a scholarship doesn't guarantee success, but it does guarantee an embarrassing photo in the local newspaper you can show your friends later..
• Headline: NORMAN H. LIBBY. Impact: Norman H. Libby’s existence was so impactful, it inspired a whole generation of people to change their names to something more interesting. Goodbye, Bob and Alice!. Fact: Having a name that starts with 'H' is statistically proven to make you 17% cooler, or so we claim in the scientific community..
• Headline: BITTLEMAN DENIES URGING U. S. REVOLT; Former Communist Official on Stand in His Own Behalf at Deportation Hearing. Impact: Bittleman's denial of urging a revolt led to a series of conspiracy theories that suggested he might have been a secret agent for the 'Anti-Revolt League.' Spoiler: it was just a bad hair day.. Fact: Denial in court is like a magician's act; everyone knows it’s a trick, but we keep clapping anyway..