AUGUST 13, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: Ludvik Ocenasek's Wire Tapping Incident. Impact: If Mr. Ocenasek had not tapped those German wires in '17, we might have avoided a series of unfortunate miscommunications that led to a wildly unsuccessful 'World War' party in 1914. Who knew espionage could lead to a century of global conflict and the occasional spy movie?. Fact: Did you know that tapping wires is still a thing? Only now, it's mostly just nosy neighbors and tech companies stalking your online shopping habits..
• Headline: REA Provides $8.4 Million Power Loan. Impact: This loan to the Loup River Power District likely sparked a financial chain reaction, leading to the establishment of countless coffee shops that serve overpriced lattes to keep the lights on. Thanks, REA, for fueling our caffeine addiction!. Fact: Did you know that $8,412,000 in 1949 is equivalent to about $100 million today? So basically, they could have funded an entire small country or just a really nice coffee machine..
• Headline: Monmouth Park Betting Decrease Reported. Impact: The decline in betting at Monmouth Park may have inadvertently led to the rise of online gambling, which has since turned millions of people into experts on losing money from the comfort of their couches. Thanks, Monmouth!. Fact: Did you know 'pari-mutuel' means 'betting against each other'? So basically, it's like a group therapy session, but with more crying over lost bets..
• Headline: FREDERICK EISENBERGER. Impact: Frederick Eisenberger's life may have seemed mundane, but little did he know he was destined to have a street named after him one day. Or at least his descendants will try to convince the city council of that.. Fact: Did you know that every time you drive down Eisenberger Street, you might just be cursing the man who innocently lived his life? Sorry, Fred!.
• Headline: J. WALTER MANNIX. Impact: J. Walter Mannix might have been just another name on a headline, but if he had invented something revolutionary, we could have been living in a world where flying cars are a reality. Instead, we're still stuck in traffic.. Fact: Did you know that every time you sit in traffic, you could have been living in an alternate universe where Mannix invented teleportation? Think of all the time wasted on bad radio commercials!.
• Headline: DR. HOMER ADKINS, EDUCATOR, 57, DIES; Chemistry Professor 21 Years at Wisconsin Specialized in Field of Catalysis. Impact: Dr. Homer Adkins' passing might have stunted the advancement of catalysis, which could mean we are still waiting for that magical catalyst that turns lead into gold. But alas, we remain stuck with our regular ol' gold.. Fact: Did you know that Adkins specialized in catalysis, the science of speeding up chemical reactions? Too bad he couldn't speed up his own life expectancy..
• Headline: VAUGHAN IS READY TO FACE QUESTIONS; FREEZER GIFT CITED; 'No Information Whatever' Is White House Word on Report Mrs. Truman Also Got One. Impact: The White House's lack of information about freezer gifts sparked endless conspiracy theories about frozen meats and secret political favors. Who knew frozen food could be so scandalous?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing colder than a freezer is the heart of politicians trying to cover up their gift-giving habits? Because, really, who doesn't love a good freezer?.