AUGUST 10, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Zealand Dockers Overtime Conflict. Impact: If only those dockers had decided to take a stand and not work overtime, maybe Auckland would have become the world's first city to embrace a permanent siesta culture. Instead, they just kept working and thus, the world was spared from an overabundance of napping.. Fact: Did you know that dockers can be just as dramatic as soap opera stars? It's all about the overtime!.
• Headline: McCarran Misquote Controversy. Impact: McCarran's misquote could have sparked a full-blown communist witch hunt, leading to a world where everyone had to carry a 'No Commies Allowed' sign. Luckily, it was just a misunderstanding, and we all got to keep our signs in the attic.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than political quotes is trying to figure out how to pronounce 'McCarran' correctly?.
• Headline: JOHN F. RYAN. Impact: John F. Ryan was likely just another name on a list, but who knows? Maybe he would have invented time travel if he had received more attention. Alas, history tends to forget those who don't scream loudly enough.. Fact: Did you know that John F. Ryan, like many historical figures, probably had a cat? Because history loves cats..
• Headline: FRANK WELTON PIKE. Impact: Frank W. Pike, a name lost to time, could have been the inventor of a revolutionary new form of transportation. Instead, he’s just a name on a page. Thanks a lot, history!. Fact: Did you know that Frank W. Pike might actually be a superhero in another universe? We just don't know it yet..
• Headline: Appointed as Librarian At a New Jersey College. Impact: Dr. H.C. Newton's appointment as librarian could have led to a massive surge in book recommendations, turning New Jersey into the literary capital of the world. Instead, it just remained New Jersey.. Fact: Did you know that librarians are basically the ninjas of the literary world? Silent but deadly with their knowledge!.
• Headline: Visa Denied Papal Aide. Impact: Denying a visa to a Papal aide could have led to an alternate timeline where the Pope had to conduct all meetings via carrier pigeon. Just imagine the chaos!. Fact: Did you know that the Papacy's travel plans are more complicated than your average family vacation? No wonder they need aides!.