MAY 1, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: BASSO AT HOME ON BROADWAY; METROPOLITAN'S BASSO AT HOME ON BROADWAY. Impact: Basso's Broadway success paved the way for future artists to believe they could indeed make it big, however, it also led to a surge in off-key karaoke nights, where everyone thinks they sound like a star. Thanks, Basso!. Fact: His career was so successful that it’s rumored he once outshined the spotlight itself..
• Headline: Family Relations Unit to Meet. Impact: The Family Relations Unit's meetings led to a gradual decline in family game nights, as everyone realized that discussing feelings was far more complex than Monopoly. Who knew 'emotional intelligence' could ruin a good board game?. Fact: The only thing more awkward than family meetings is family meetings about family meetings..
• Headline: NEWS FROM THE FIELD OF TRAVEL. Impact: The 250th anniversary of travel sparked an era of wanderlust that led to the invention of the selfie stick, a device that has since ensured that no one ever misses capturing their own awkward travel moments.. Fact: Before the selfie stick, tourists had to rely on strangers to take their pictures—how barbaric!.
• Headline: YUGOSLAVS BERATE FOES FOR MAY DAY; A Double-Edged Proclamation Against the Cominform and West Is Issued by Party. Impact: The Yugoslav Party's proclamation created an ideological tug-of-war that influenced global political alliances for decades, eventually resulting in a world where everyone pretended to understand what 'Cominform' meant.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than Cominform was trying to explain it to your grandparents at dinner..