MARCH 16, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reducing Shipping Losses Urged in 1949. Impact: If H H Pratt had successfully reduced handling losses, we might have seen a world where shipping companies became so efficient they invented teleportation... but instead, they just lost our packages in the Bermuda Triangle.. Fact: Ironically, the only thing less efficient than handling losses in shipping is trying to track your online orders..
• Headline: Proposed Atlantic Union in 1949. Impact: The idea of an Atlantic Union may have inspired future world leaders to think they could unite continents. Spoiler alert: it didn't end well for some of them.. Fact: If only they had considered a union of snacks instead, they might have achieved world peace over potato chips and pretzels..
• Headline: TWO RECORDS SET BY GENERAL FOODS; Net Earnings of $14,513,000 and $463,336,031 Sales Last Year Best Yet. Impact: General Foods' record earnings likely led to the idea that big profits could buy happiness, which is why we have endless ads promising that happiness is just a snack away.. Fact: In a surprising twist, no one actually needs $463 million in sales to realize that pizza is the real MVP of the food world..
• Headline: Airliner Is Crippled; 52 Aboard Are Calm. Impact: This airliner incident could have paved the way for air travel safety protocols, but instead, it just reinforced the reality that flying is essentially a game of luck.. Fact: If you think flying is scary, just remember that the odds of winning the lottery are better than your luggage arriving on time..
• Headline: STRATEGY IN ARCTIC REALIGNED BY U. S.; Alaskan Defenses Are Vested in Airfields, With Aleutians in Minor Naval Role. Impact: The shift in U.S. Arctic strategy may have led to a future where 'cold' is no longer just a temperature but a state of mind for military strategists.. Fact: Surprisingly, the Aleutians are not just a cool vacation spot; they are also great at confusing people about where Alaska actually is..
• Headline: EXPRESS EMPLOYES HONOR PICKET LINE; Union Extends Operations to Company's Offices, Claims 500 Kept From Work. Impact: The honor of the picket line may have encouraged unions to start picketing everything, including the idea of working on Mondays. We might have ended up with a national 'No Work' day.. Fact: Picketing is basically the adult version of throwing a tantrum until you get what you want—who knew adults could be so dramatic?.