MARCH 11, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: China's Premier Appointment in 1949. Impact: If Ho Chi Minh had decided to become China's Premier instead of sticking to his revolutionary roots, we might have seen a world where the Vietnam War was replaced by a Sino-Vietnamese buddy cop film. Just imagine the plot twists!. Fact: Did you know that Ho Chi Minh was originally a pastry chef? Maybe if the political career didn’t work out, he could have opened a bakery instead!.
• Headline: Senate Inquiry Finds Avelino Guilty. Impact: Avelino’s illegal transactions could have sparked a national trend in political corruption, leading to a reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Corruption.' Spoiler: everyone loses.. Fact: Avelino protested his innocence so well, he might have missed his calling as a soap opera actor..
• Headline: PUBLISHERS' HEAD CRITICIZES THE ITU; Calls It the Only Union Failing to Show 'Cordial Relations' Under Taft-Hartley Law. Impact: C. Williams' criticism of the ITU likely inspired thousands of union leaders to have heated debates over coffee, which resulted in more union break rooms than actual union benefits. Progress!. Fact: The ITU's lack of cordiality was so bad, even the coffee in their break room was bitter..
• Headline: Rosen Bail Hearing Postponed. Impact: The postponement of the Rosen hearing set off a series of events that led to every lawyer in the country thinking they could postpone anything. 'Traffic ticket? Let's delay that for a few years!'. Fact: Postponing hearings is like the legal equivalent of hitting the snooze button. It feels good until you realize you’re late!.
• Headline: BURKE HEARS FOES OF ZONING CHANGE. Impact: Burke's hearing on zoning changes stirred up such public outrage that it eventually led to the founding of a new sport: zoning change protest sign-making. Spoiler alert: no one won.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than zoning laws is trying to explain them to someone who just moved in..
• Headline: U. S. INSISTS DUTCH PERMIT INDONESIA TO REVIVE REGIME; Austin Also Calls for Return of Republican Government to Jogjakarta for Talks VAN ROYEN FEARS CHAOS Netherlands Delegate Says Security Council Plan Would Precipitate Bloodshed U.S. DEMANDS DUTCH RESTORE INDONESIA. Impact: Insisting on restoring Indonesia's government may have inadvertently set off a series of U.S. diplomatic blunders that eventually led to the phrase 'let's not poke that bear' becoming a diplomatic mantra.. Fact: The U.S. thought they were being helpful, but instead, they just became the world’s most awkward third wheel in Indonesia’s political drama..
• Headline: BASKETBALL 'FIX' SENDS 4 TO PRISON; ' Small Time Gamblers,' Seized on Player's Tip, Get Terms Up to 2 1/2 Years. Impact: The basketball 'fix' scandal was so shocking that it prompted the establishment of 'The Integrity of Sports' committee, which later discovered that the only thing they could truly 'fix' was their PR.. Fact: These 'small-time gamblers' were so small, they almost got lost in the couch cushions of sports history..
• Headline: Acheson for New U. S. Aid to U. N.. Impact: Acheson's push for U.S. aid to the U.N. set a precedent for politicians everywhere to use the phrase 'for the greater good' while quietly pocketing donations from all the corporations that benefited from the aid.. Fact: Acheson’s proposal was so generous, he might as well have wrapped it in a big bow and delivered it personally to the U.N. with a side of 'you owe me one!'.
• Headline: TITO PAPER REPORTS GAIN; Borba Says Circulation Is Up Since Attack by Cominform. Impact: The increase in circulation for Tito's paper after the Cominform attack probably sparked a trend in 'bad publicity is still publicity,' leading to a new era of sensational journalism.. Fact: Tito’s paper gained more readers than a celebrity gossip column after a scandal. Who knew politics could be so juicy?.