FEBRUARY 26, 1949

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fordham Seismographs Detect Unusual Vibrations. Impact: Unbeknownst to the seismographs and Rev J J Lynch, these artificial vibrations would eventually inspire the creation of the first modern dance crazes, leading to a world where people would gyrate to synthesized beats instead of classic tunes.. Fact: Did you know that seismographs have a better social life than most people? They get to meet all sorts of vibrations!.
• Headline: Roman Bohnen Passes Away in Hollywood. Impact: Roman Bohnen's death in Hollywood sparked a wave of theatrical drama that would culminate in an entire genre of films about tragic actors, setting the stage for melodrama and the inevitable rise of reality television.. Fact: Did you know that Hollywood has a 'six degrees of separation' rule? It's just that some actors are only a few sad monologues away from their next big role!.
• Headline: E R Collins Becomes Albany College President. Impact: Dr. E.R. Collins's appointment might have seemed trivial, but it set off a series of academic reforms that eventually led to the rise of the 'college major in procrastination' we're all too familiar with today.. Fact: Did you know that being appointed president of a college is like winning a game of musical chairs, but the music never stops and you just keep sitting down in a new office?.
• Headline: GUSTAVE KOCH. Impact: Gustave Koch's presence in the headlines was a mere blip, but it paved the way for countless other G. Kochs in the world, forever confusing historians and genealogists alike.. Fact: Did you know that there are more Gustave Kochs than you can shake a stick at? Good luck finding the right one!.
• Headline: BOGUS LICENSE PLOT LAID TO 3 EXPORTERS. Impact: The bogus license plot laid bare how easily regulations could be flouted, leading to a future where people would start printing their own licenses from home – after all, who needs a real job when you can counterfeit your way through life?. Fact: Did you know that counterfeiting export licenses has been a popular pastime since the dawn of bureaucracy? It’s like Monopoly, but with real consequences!.
• Headline: WARNING ON GOLD SENT SOUTH AFRICA; International Monetary Fund Tells Government 'Premium'-Priced Sales Must End DANGER IN BLACK MARKET Citing London Brokerage Purchase at $38.20, Organization Sees Possible Price of $90. Impact: The IMF's warning about gold prices would inadvertently lead to a gold rush of conspiracy theorists, who to this day believe that the price of gold is secretly controlled by a cabal of squirrels in suits.. Fact: Did you know that the price of gold skyrockets whenever someone drops a shiny coin in a wishing well? Just kidding – that’s the power of speculation!.
• Headline: Form-Fitting Patterns of Plastic Fabric Good Springtime News for Home Sewers. Impact: The introduction of form-fitting plastic fabric patterns revolutionized home sewing, allowing people to create hideous outfits that could only be described as 'fashion disasters' for generations to come.. Fact: Did you know that plastic fabric was once considered the height of fashion? Now we just call it 'that one outfit you wore in the 2000s that makes you cringe.'.
• Headline: BRAZILIAN TRADE FAVORABLE IN '48; Bureau Here Cites $16,000,000 Balance, Against Deficit of $200,000,000 in 1947. Impact: Brazil's favorable trade balance in 1948 led to a series of economic decisions that would ultimately lead to the creation of the term 'Brazilian wax' – because why not tie global trade to personal grooming?. Fact: Did you know that Brazil's economy is like a rollercoaster? It has its ups and downs, but everyone just hopes they don’t lose their lunch on the way!.
• Headline: TWO SOFIA CLERICS ENTER GUILTY PLEA AS SPY TRIAL OPENS; Baptist Leader Appeals to All Bulgarian Protestants to Sever Ties With U. S. HE SOBS WHILE TESTIFYING Both Confessions Link Former American Official to Case -- Espionage Route Traced TWO SOFIA CLERICS ENTER GUILTY PLEA. Impact: The spy trial in Sofia highlighted the paranoia of the Cold War era, setting the stage for future espionage movies where the real plot twist is that everyone's just trying to keep track of who’s actually spying on whom.. Fact: Did you know that espionage trials are basically the original reality TV? Only with more intrigue and fewer commercial breaks..
• Headline: A STRIKE BEYOND IMAGINING. Impact: The strike that was prevented led to a long-standing tradition of labor negotiations that would eventually inspire countless sitcoms about workplace drama, forever changing the way we view office life.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more powerful than a union is a group of coworkers trying to decide where to order lunch? Strikes are just the appetizer!.