DECEMBER 19, 1948

Full News Archive

• Headline: End of Kearny Shipyard Operations. Impact: The Navy's takeover of Kearny Shipyard sparked a nationwide trend of shipyards turning into luxury condos. Who knew that the sound of battleships would be replaced by the sound of brunch-goers debating overpriced avocado toast?. Fact: Building warships and liners at Kearny meant that future generations would unknowingly spend their weekends in hipster havens where naval history meets artisanal coffee..
• Headline: Sayre to Testify on Spy Papers. Impact: Sayre's testimony was the catalyst for a dramatic increase in conspiracy theories surrounding government secrecy, leading to a whole generation of basement-dwelling conspiracy theorists armed with typewriters and tinfoil hats.. Fact: The Hiss case was so complicated that even Sherlock Holmes would have thrown his hands up and suggested a good old-fashioned game of Clue instead..
• Headline: U.S. Investigates Peron’s Censorship Efforts. Impact: The U.S. investigation into Perón's censorship inadvertently led to the rise of rebellious journalists everywhere, including a caffeinated collective known as 'The Ink-stigators' who vowed to never let censorship dampen their punchy headlines.. Fact: Censorship is just like a magician's trick—if you pull the wrong rabbit out of the hat, someone might end up in a censorship-induced disappearing act!.
• Headline: CEZANNE. By Bernard Dorival. Prometheus Series. Printed in France. 110 pages of text. 160 pages of reproductions, twenty-five in color. New York: Continental Book Center. $12.50. VERONESE. By Antoine Orliac. Translated by Mary Chamot. Printed in France. 30 pages of text, 144 gravure reproductions and sixteen in color. New York: The Hyperion Press. $7.50. JOHN SINGLETON COPLEY. By James Thomas Flexner. 139 pp. Thirty-two reproductions with frontispiece in color. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company. $7.50.. Impact: Cézanne's works being published led to an explosion of art appreciation, which ultimately caused everyone to buy overpriced prints for their living rooms, making them feel sophisticated while sipping on boxed wine.. Fact: Cézanne was so influential that even today, you can find people pretending to understand his work while secretly Googling 'What is still life?' during gallery visits..
• Headline: A BUSY GENTLEMAN; Ted Steele's Day Covers Studio and Farm. Impact: Ted Steele’s busy life as a gentleman and farmer inspired a whole genre of self-help books on 'How to be a Renaissance Man in the Age of Netflix.'. Fact: Being busy and productive in the 1950s apparently just meant mastering the art of multitasking—like juggling crops while discussing the latest trends in bow ties..
• Headline: FINANCING IN QUARTER PUT AT $984,000,000. Impact: Financing reaching nearly a billion dollars meant that the economy started resembling a game of Monopoly where everyone pretended to be rich until they landed on Boardwalk.. Fact: If only the SEC had warned everyone that Monopoly money doesn't actually work in real life—they might have saved a few million in financial heartaches!.
• Headline: NEWS OF THE WORLD OF STAMPS. Impact: Increased postal rates in France led to people sending even more postcards from their vacations, prompting the creation of a secret society dedicated to the art of the humble postcard.. Fact: Stamps are the only currency that can simultaneously make you feel like a philanthropist and a hoarder at the same time..
• Headline: DEPRECIATION STILL TAXATION PROBLEM; Courts Hold Congress Has Not Guaranteed Full Recovery of Investment. Impact: The depreciation tax problem became a hot topic, leading to a slew of tax seminars that were less about tax codes and more about how to avoid responsibility.. Fact: It’s ironic that the term 'depreciation' sounds like a mood you experience when you realize your favorite TV show just got canceled..
• Headline: STATE OF RADIO; Edgar Bergen Presents Pertinent Issue. Impact: Edgar Bergen’s radio show inspired countless other radio shows, which eventually led to the overwhelming number of podcasts today. Thanks, Edgar, for making everyone's commute a little more tolerable!. Fact: UN-approved educational jingles are the reason why you might have accidentally memorized the capitals of every country—congratulations, you've been brainwashed!.