DECEMBER 11, 1948

Full News Archive

• Headline: Geminid Meteor Shower Observation 1948. Impact: The Geminids were just the start. Had they not been studied, we might not have developed the technology to send annoying tweets about shooting stars during dates. Fact: Every December, the Geminids remind us that while our lives may be dull, at least the universe is putting on a spectacular light show.
• Headline: Exploring 1948 Commemorative Topics. Impact: The obsession with '48 commemorations may have led to a time where every year was celebrated for something, turning the calendar into a never-ending series of awkward parties. Fact: The number 48 has been celebrated for so long that it's now considered the middle child of years, forever overshadowed by its more glamorous siblings.
• Headline: BRIDGE PLAY GOES ON AFTER 2 TRIPLE TIES. Impact: If bridge players had lost interest post-ties, we might have seen a rise in sports like competitive knitting or extreme folding of laundry instead. Fact: Bridge: the only game where you can call your partner a 'dummy' and still be friends afterward.
• Headline: RICHARD BIGEI..OW. Impact: Richard Bigelow's name may have been lost to history, but every time someone mispronounces a name, a little piece of history dies with it. Fact: Bigelow may not have made it into the history books, but at least he’s got a headline! That’s more than most of us can say.
• Headline: JOHN R. ROWLAND. Impact: John R. Rowland's moment in the spotlight could've sparked a movement of every John or Jane wanting their names in the paper, leading to a boom in mediocre local news. Fact: It's said that the most common name in history is 'John.' Too bad they never got a headline that was actually interesting.
• Headline: Third Girl in Sorority Fire Dies. Impact: The tragic loss of the third girl in the sorority fire might have had a ripple effect on fire safety regulations in college housing, saving countless lives in the long run, albeit at a terrible cost. Fact: Sorority fires often lead to stricter regulations, but it’s a shame it took so much loss to realize that fire alarms should be more than just decoration.
• Headline: U.N. DELAYS ACTION ON PALESTINE PACT; Israelis Agree to Permit the Withdrawal of the Egyptian Troops in Faluja Pocket U. N. DELAYS ACTION ON PALESTINE PACT. Impact: The U.N.'s indecision on the Palestine pact might have led to a world where diplomacy was viewed as a spectator sport, with everyone watching but no one actually playing. Fact: Delaying action is the U.N.'s specialty. They should consider a name change to 'The United Nations of Procrastination.'.
• Headline: FRANCESCO DE LEONE, OPERA COMPOSER, 61. Impact: Francesco De Leone’s operatic compositions may have influenced future composers to produce even more dramatic and over-the-top operas, leading to a world where opera singers need to double as therapists. Fact: Opera: the only place where breaking into song is considered a perfectly normal reaction to emotional distress.
• Headline: TWU Ousts 16 Leftist Organizers; Quill Admits '47 Subway Slowdown; LEFTIST PURGE HITS 16 TWU ORGANIZERS. Impact: The TWU's purge of leftist organizers could have set off a chain reaction that made unions more cautious about their internal politics, resulting in a lot of awkward holiday parties with tense conversations. Fact: The Transport Workers Union: still fighting for better wages while simultaneously ensuring that no one gets too comfortable with political opinions.