JUNE 25, 1948

Full News Archive

• Headline: Promoting Understanding in World Affairs. Impact: Dr. Cherrington's insistence on teaching world affairs leads to the rise of overly opinionated college students who think they know everything about geopolitics, causing countless dinner table debates over the years. Thanks, Dr. Cherrington.. Fact: Did you know that a group of college students once tried to solve world peace over a game of beer pong? Spoiler: it didn't work..
• Headline: Hottest Day of 1948 Cooled by Rain. Impact: The hottest day of the year gets cooled down by showers, leading to a series of people thinking they can predict the weather like a professional meteorologist—spoiler alert: they can't.. Fact: Did you know that people still argue whether 'it feels like' is an actual weather measurement, despite reality saying it's just someone's opinion?.
• Headline: IRGUN DENOUNCED BY MORGENTHAU; Its Action Held 'Outrageous' by Ex-Secretary, Receiving Yeshiva University Degree. Impact: Morgenthau's denunciation of Irgun sparks debates that will echo through history, leading to a proliferation of think pieces and very heated Twitter debates about political morality—because nothing says 'progress' like arguing on the internet.. Fact: Did you know that the first think piece was actually just a letter to the editor that was too long? It’s true; history is wild..
• Headline: IMPERIAL CONFERENCE SET; Attlee Is Expected to Announce London Parley for October. Impact: Attlee's announcement of the Imperial Conference sets the stage for future Commonwealth relationships, leading to more meetings than anyone cares to count—because nothing says 'unity' like a room full of people half-heartedly agreeing.. Fact: Did you know that most of these conferences could've been solved with a well-placed email? Ah, progress!.
• Headline: Article 1 -- No Title. Impact: The State Department's optimism about meeting deadlines sets a precedent for overpromising and underdelivering, culminating in modern-day politicians making deadlines as frequently as they make excuses.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'we'll have it done by Friday' is now a universal symbol of procrastination? Thanks, State Department!.
• Headline: CALLS FOR PANAMA BASES; Gen. Crittenberger Says They Are Needed to Guard Canal. Impact: Crittenberger's call for Panama bases leads to a military presence that lasts longer than the average sitcom, creating a bizarre cultural mix of military and local life that no one asked for but everyone ended up enduring.. Fact: Did you know that the most popular drink in Panama is 'Canalito'? Just kidding, I made that up, but it should be!.