FEBRUARY 26, 1948

Full News Archive

• Headline: Republicans Launch Inquiry on Truman's Presidency. Impact: The Republicans winning this inquiry led to a time where every political party became obsessed with digging up dirt on the past, thus giving rise to an entire generation of conspiracy theorists who think every leader has a hidden agenda involving extraterrestrials and lizard people.. Fact: Fun fact: This inquiry was so influential that it inspired a series of poorly received reality shows called 'Political Archaeology: Digging Up Dirt!'.
• Headline: Yemen Conflict and Saudi Intervention. Impact: Ibn Saud sending troops to Yemen set off a chain reaction of Middle East conflicts that would lead to more confusion than a soap opera plot twist. Countries were drawn into disputes like moths to a flame, each trying to outdo the other in dramatic flair.. Fact: Did you know that the Arab League's mission was so convoluted, it could have been a plotline for a bad buddy cop movie? 'Two nations, one mission: to not get along!'.
• Headline: Truman's Journey: Cuba to Key West. Impact: Truman's rough voyage to Cuba ironically led to more Americans thinking that tropical vacations were all about rough seas and bad weather. This later fueled an entire industry of overpriced 'luxury' cruises that still promise the calm seas but deliver nausea instead.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing rougher than Truman's voyage was the presentation he sat through. Imagine a kid presenting a scrapbook after your long day at the office. Yikes!.
• Headline: U.S. MOVES BIG FIVE REPORT ON OUTLOOK IN PALESTINE STRIFE; Austin Asks Security Council Name Body to Inquire if Peace Is Threatened ADVERSE VOTE POSSIBLE Britain and China Expected to Abstain -- Egypt Says Arabs Would Fight U.N. Force U.S. MOVES BIG FIVE REPORT ON OUTLOOK. Impact: The U.S. moving the Big Five report on Palestine made the diplomatic scene so convoluted that even the most seasoned negotiators began to wonder if they were actually just playing an elaborate game of chess with no idea of the rules.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Big Five' doesn’t refer to a fancy restaurant? It’s actually just a group of countries trying to agree on something more elusive than a cat at bath time..
• Headline: NAVY LIEUTENANT STRANGLED HERE; Lone Reserve Officer Traveling on Department Orders Found in Hotel Room. Impact: The strangling of the navy lieutenant in a hotel room caused a ripple effect that made every hotel manager reconsider their security measures, leading to the invention of those awkwardly placed 'Do Not Disturb' signs that never really work.. Fact: Did you know that hotels now have more security than a celebrity’s mansion? It’s almost like they think every guest might be a spy or worse, a blogger!.
• Headline: INDIANA EDITORS OPPOSED TO JENNER; Republicans Demand He Quit Governorship Race Though Party Leaders Back Him. Impact: The Indiana editors opposing Jenner's governorship race resulted in a never-ending cycle of political drama that has made Indiana's political scene more chaotic than a family reunion during Thanksgiving.. Fact: Fun fact: This opposition was so heated that it inspired a new genre of political drama titled 'Who Wants to Be a Governor?' Spoiler alert: No one!.
• Headline: SMALL BRITISH BODIES DISSENT ON PALESTINE. Impact: The dissent within the British Labour party on Palestine led to so many internal disagreements that it could have easily fueled an entire season of a reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Politicians'.. Fact: Did you know that the formation of the international military force was debated so much it made watching paint dry seem like an action movie?.
• Headline: Pressmen Ordered Back to Work. Impact: The pressmen being ordered back to work after a strike resulted in a phenomenon where every news outlet began to take their employees' grievances less seriously, leading to more press drama than actual news.. Fact: Fun fact: The pressmen's union president had to step in so often that he considered getting a superhero cape. His superpower? Making people go back to work!.