JANUARY 12, 1948

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bridge Attack Intensifies Arab-Israeli Tensions. Impact: This bridge wrecking incident was a catalyst for future 'who can destroy infrastructure better' competitions. Spoiler alert: they both lost the trophy of peace.. Fact: Did you know that bridge construction is an ancient art? If only they had built a bridge of understanding instead of destruction!.
• Headline: New Leaders for 377th Evacuation Hospital. Impact: The naming of hospital reserve heads was a pivotal moment, leading to future generations of doctors who would wonder why they didn't just stick to naming pets instead.. Fact: Did you know that the 377th Evacuation Hospital sounds like a band that never made it past rehearsals? They totally had the potential, though!.
• Headline: Free, Two-Year Colleges Proposed in Communities; Their Addition to High Schools to Widen Opportunity Is Suggested in Third Report of President's Commission on Education ASK FREE COLLEGES FOR COMMUNITIES. Impact: The proposal for free, two-year colleges was the beginning of a long discussion that eventually led to students wondering why they still can't find a job with their degrees.. Fact: Did you know that free college proposals have been around longer than your grandparents' old vinyl records? And yet, here we are still debating it like it's a new concept!.
• Headline: Summary of Recommendations in the Third Report on Education. Impact: The report urging government financial aid foreshadowed an endless cycle of students drowning in debt while sipping overpriced lattes, hoping for a loan forgiveness miracle.. Fact: Did you know that financial aid offices are basically the adult version of being told 'we'll see' when you ask for a toy? Spoiler: you probably won't get it..
• Headline: STATE SHOWS GAIN IN CHECKING BIAS; Goldstein Reports Settling Cases Involving Hotels by 'Educational Tactics'. Impact: Goldstein's efforts to check bias paved the way for future anti-bias movements, proving that sometimes you have to fight fire with a slightly more organized fire extinguisher.. Fact: Did you know that the art of checking bias is just like playing a game of Whack-a-Mole? You hit one issue, and another pops up just to annoy you!.
• Headline: DR. BENJAMIN ROBBINS. Impact: Dr. Benjamin Robbins became a footnote in history, as his name was whispered in the halls of medical schools, inspiring future doctors to strive for greatness while dodging their own paperwork.. Fact: Did you know that Robbins sounds a lot like 'robbing' when you say it quickly? Just saying, perhaps a career in crime fiction was also an option..
• Headline: MRS. SCUDDER J. WOOLEY. Impact: Mrs. Scudder J. Wooley's mention in the news would eventually lead to generations of Wooleys feeling the pressure to maintain their family's legacy of being awesomely ordinary.. Fact: Did you know that 'Wooley' is often a misspelling of 'woolly'? Just imagine the confusion at family reunions every time someone brings a sheep!.