JANUARY 4, 1948

Full News Archive

• Headline: Truman Activates GOP Price Control Law. Impact: Truman's activation of the Republicans' law to curb inflation inadvertently led to the annual national pastime of complaining about gas prices, which ultimately birthed the modern meme culture around 'filling up the tank'. Thanks, Truman!. Fact: Did you know that Truman's approval ratings were so low at one point that even his own shadow refused to follow him around?.
• Headline: New Zealand Welcomes American Tourists Again. Impact: The reopening of package plane trips to New Zealand sparked a tourism boom that would eventually lead to the creation of the world's first 'Kiwi Olympics', where events include sheep shearing and hobbit-hopping.. Fact: New Zealand is so remote that when someone says 'I'll be right back', they can be gone for a week and still be technically accurate..
• Headline: Recent Paintings by Three Artists. Impact: The recent paintings by Fredenthal, Etnier, and Fortess led to an art movement so revolutionary that it prompted the founding of the 'Modern Art Complaining Society', whose members still criticize art from their couches today.. Fact: One of the artists once tried to paint a landscape but accidentally created a masterpiece of confusion instead..
• Headline: Yale's Varsity Eight Shows Way To Penn by Three Feet in Thriller; 20,000 Watch the Regatta on Lake Worth in Florida -- Kelly Sculling Victor -- Eli Jayvees Win -- Quaker Pair First YALE BEATS PENN IN THRILLING RACE. Impact: Yale's thrilling victory over Penn in the regatta not only reinforced Ivy League rivalries but also inspired countless future movies about underdog collegiate sports, leading to more clichés than you can shake a paddle at.. Fact: The only thing more intense than Yale's rowing practice is their post-race brunch, where they argue over whether pancakes or waffles are superior..
• Headline: AUTOMOBILES: PARKING; The New Year Brings Signs of Even More Congestion -- Findings in New Haven. Impact: As parking congestion grew, the need for innovative solutions led to the invention of the car horn as a universal language of frustration, which is still spoken fluently today.. Fact: New Haven's parking situation is so bad that even GPS systems have started issuing sarcastic comments..
• Headline: HESSIANS THANK AMERICA; Our Foods for School Children Nourished 320,000 in 1947. Impact: The Hessians thanking America for food aid created a ripple effect of gratitude that would lead to an annual 'Thanksgiving for Allies' where people awkwardly discuss geopolitical issues over turkey.. Fact: Hessian officials were so grateful they nearly started a 'Thank You America' fan club, but then remembered they had actual work to do..
• Headline: Tasters Choose Chicken Eggs. Impact: The decision of tasters to pick chicken eggs as the best led to a poultry renaissance where eggs suddenly became the star of every brunch menu, resulting in the rise of hipster egg benedict variations.. Fact: Chicken eggs are technically the original superfood; they just didn’t have the marketing team behind them until recently..
• Headline: People Who Read and Write. Impact: The recognition of readers and writers spurred a literary boom that ultimately led to a million amateur novelists believing they could write the next great American novel, resulting in a lot of unread manuscripts gathering dust.. Fact: One of the noted authors was also a professional procrastinator, claiming he was just 'researching' when he was actually binge-watching TV..
• Headline: CRITIC'S DISSENT; Exception to Three of Year's 'Best' Selections. Impact: The dissent from critics on the year's best selections prompted filmmakers to create movies so bizarre that they would become cult classics, defining a new genre of 'so bad it's good'.. Fact: The NY Film Critics' awards are so prestigious, even the awards themselves have their own egos..