DECEMBER 7, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Panama Building Costs Soar Post-War. Impact: The building lag in Panama caused construction costs to skyrocket, which led to a national shortage of building materials. This shortage eventually fueled the rise of a secret underground network of architects who traded blueprints like contraband. Who knew a war boom could stir up such a construction conspiracy?. Fact: If only those architects had known that the cost of materials would eventually lead to the invention of the ‘DIY’ culture. Thank you, Panama!.
• Headline: Atomic Fission's Unexpected Fresh Water Benefit. Impact: The discovery of fresh water from atomic fission was the start of a trend where scientists tried to extract everything possible from nuclear reactions, from coffee to artisanal toast. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out so well. Fact: Imagine if we could harness atomic fission to create a never-ending coffee supply. The world would be much more jittery!.
• Headline: U.N. ANTI-BIAS UNIT ADOPTS 4 ARTICLES; Adjourns Meeting in Geneva -- Proposes That It Become a Full Commission. Impact: The U.N. anti-bias unit's proposals eventually led to more committees being created than actual solutions, resulting in an infinite loop of meetings that still haunts Geneva to this day. Fact: If meetings were an Olympic sport, the U.N. would have more gold medals than any country. Still waiting for that event to be televised!.
• Headline: U.N. EXPERTS PLAN BUILDING CHANGES; Work on Design to Set Off Assembly Hall in Manhattan as Symbol of Cooperation. Impact: The redesign of the Assembly Hall as a symbol of cooperation led to the world’s longest construction delay, resulting in a multi-decade debate over whether the building should be shaped like a handshake or a peace dove. Fact: It's ironic that a symbol of cooperation took so long to build it could have been completed faster if everyone had just agreed on a rectangular box!.
• Headline: DR. BUTLER IS DEAD OF PNEUMONIA AT 85; WON WORLD HONORS; Educator, Head of Columbia for 44 Years, Was in Hospital Since Thanksgiving Day LONG WORKED FOR PEACE Co-Winner of Nobel Prize in '31 -- Republican Party Leader, Noted Author, Speaker Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler, Dead at 85, Won Many Honors in a Distinguished Career. Impact: Dr. Butler's passing not only marked the end of an era for Columbia but also inadvertently led to the rise of a generation of educators who would use his legacy as a stepping stone to argue about whether to assign more homework. Fact: He was a Nobel Prize winner, yet here we are, arguing over the worth of an assignment on the Pythagorean theorem. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Missouri Valley to Play West Chester at Tampa. Impact: The Cigar Bowl game was the catalyst for college sports becoming the mega-empire it is today. Who would've thought that a college football game in Tampa could lead to the billion-dollar industry of sports marketing?. Fact: The real question is: did anyone actually smoke cigars at the Cigar Bowl? Because that would have made it a real party!.
• Headline: 2 Huge Loans Covered by Insurance Groups Held Investment Bank Answer to Government; RECENT LOANS SEEN REFUTING CHARGES. Impact: The insurance groups’ loans inadvertently led to the birth of the phrase ‘too big to fail,’ which eventually became the mantra for a whole generation of banks. Irony at its finest!. Fact: Insurance companies making massive loans? It's like letting the fox guard the henhouse and then being surprised when chickens start disappearing!.
• Headline: INTERNATIOANL STUDIES. Impact: The ban on feeding sea gulls at the VA office led to a secret rebellion among the birds, resulting in organized protests where the gulls honked in unison, demanding snacks. Who knew sea gulls had such strong opinions?. Fact: You know what they say: a hungry sea gull is a bird with a vendetta. They could have formed a union, but I guess they just settled for chaos!.
• Headline: Bars Feeding of Sea Gulls.