DECEMBER 6, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Children's Plight in Post-War Europe. Impact: The plight of the children became a rallying cry that led to the creation of countless charity organizations, which ironically have become just as bureaucratic as the systems they aim to improve.. Fact: Fun fact: 'The Plight of the Children' is also the title of a very dramatic soap opera that never aired—mostly because no one could decide on the plot!.
• Headline: Jamerson Takes Helm at Davidson College. Impact: Jamerson's appointment as coach led to a series of bad puns about 'coaching' that rippled through the sports community, forever ruining post-game interviews for future generations.. Fact: Did you know that the average coaching tenure in sports is shorter than a time traveler’s attention span? Good luck, Jamerson!.
• Headline: PETIT LARCENY LAID TO RELIEF AGENT; Moskowitz Is Arrested as He Leaves the Hospital -- Court Frees Him in $1,500 Bail OTHER VIOLATIONS SEEN Charge Also Made Under State Welfare Law -- Fielding Gets Communist Evidence. Impact: Moskowitz's little escapade sparked a nationwide debate about welfare fraud, leading to stricter regulations that ironically made it harder for honest relief agents to do their jobs.. Fact: Did you know that petit larceny is just fancy French for 'I borrowed it without asking'? Apparently, that doesn't work in court!.
• Headline: CHARLES E. SEARLES. Impact: Charles E. Searles will be remembered as a footnote in history, but his legacy inspired an entire genre of 'who's who' books that nobody reads.. Fact: Did you know that being a footnote is like being that one friend who shows up to the party but never gets invited to the group photo?.
• Headline: KELLY PLAQUE UNVEILED; O'Dwyer Among Those to Honor Late Leader in Brooklyn. Impact: The unveiling of the Kelly plaque sparked a wave of memorials across the city, turning Brooklyn into the 'City of Plaques'—because who doesn’t want to be remembered by a slab of stone?. Fact: Fun fact: Memorial plaques are just like Facebook posts—once they're up, they don't really go away, and everyone pretends to care..
• Headline: Church to Be Rededicated. Impact: The church's rededication service became a popular venue for time travelers seeking spiritual enlightenment, leading to a bizarre fusion of ancient rituals and modern selfies.. Fact: Did you know that rededication services are like spiritual reset buttons? Just don’t expect it to fix your Wi-Fi connection!.
• Headline: BISHOPS PROTEST U.S. DISMISSALS; Methodist Council Disturbed by Methods Used in Oustings for Subversive Views. Impact: The protest by bishops led to a series of debates over the separation of church and state that spiraled out of control, ultimately resulting in a reality TV show called 'Bishops vs. Bureaucrats.'. Fact: Did you know that the Methodist Council is basically the original group chat that nobody leaves, no matter how many times they try to 'move on'?.