DECEMBER 5, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shipbuilders Advocate for Swift Shipping Changes. Impact: This shipping report spurred a series of overly optimistic construction projects that ultimately led to the Great American Sinking of 1952. Who knew a committee could sink so many ships?. Fact: The Amer Shipbuilders Council once considered launching a reality show called 'Building the Unsinkable Ship.' Spoiler: It didn’t end well..
• Headline: Billingsley Faces Legal Battle Over Perfume. Impact: Billingsley's legal woes led to a series of perfume-related lawsuits that eventually birthed the infamous 'Perfume Wars of 1953,' a time when the scent of success was just a lawsuit away.. Fact: In perfume distribution, they say the best scent is 'Don't Get Sued,' a fragrance that never quite caught on..
• Headline: Rayonier Secures Loan for Expansion. Impact: Rayonier, Inc.'s loan led to the rise of numerous 'wood-based' startups, including a short-lived company that tried to make furniture out of spaghetti. Spoiler: It didn’t hold up.. Fact: Rayonier's motto was once 'We're in the business of wood,' which is about as exciting as it sounds..
• Headline: P.D. REED IS HONORED; President's Certificate of Merit Given to General Electric Head. Impact: P.D. Reed's honor led to a sudden spike in certificates of merit being awarded for the most mundane achievements, like 'Best Paperclip Organizer' and 'Champion Coffee Drinker.'. Fact: General Electric has a secret vault of all the certificates they’ve handed out over the years; it’s basically a museum of mediocrity..
• Headline: Iranian Cabinet Resigns In Dispute With Premier. Impact: The Iranian Cabinet's resignation set off a chain reaction of political instability that would eventually inspire countless movies about rogue governments. Hollywood loves a good coup!. Fact: Martial law and banning meetings of more than three people? Sounds like the world's worst book club..
• Headline: RUDOLF CONDUCTS OPERA BY STRAUSS; His 'Rosenkavalier' Reading Is a Hit at Metropolitan -- Irene Jessner in Lead. Impact: Rudolf's successful opera performance led to an explosion of interest in opera that made it the preferred musical genre for hipsters everywhere in the 21st century. Who knew?. Fact: Irene Jessner's lead role is still celebrated today, mainly by opera aficionados who are just as confused about their choices as everyone else..
• Headline: NAMED FORRESTAL AIDE; Felix Larkin of New York to Serve on Legal Staff. Impact: Felix Larkin's appointment to Forrestal's legal staff inadvertently inspired a generation of lawyers to pursue careers in government, leading to the creation of the 'Legal Eagles' reality TV show.. Fact: Forrestal’s legal team was once approached to represent a talking dog; they declined, citing a conflict of interest..
• Headline: Coward Sets Up Concern To Produce Own Films. Impact: Coward's film production company led to the rise of so-bad-they're-good films, with titles like 'Attack of the Fluffy Kittens' dominating late-night television for decades.. Fact: No one ever saw Coward’s films coming; they were like plot twists in a soap opera—unpredictable and often absurd..
• Headline: Article 1 -- No Title. Impact: The guerrilla attack in Greece sparked a series of poorly thought-out tourism campaigns, trying to make Greece the 'go-to' destination for adventure seekers who wanted a little more danger with their vacations.. Fact: Salonika’s tourism board actually considered using the tagline 'Come for the History, Stay for the Guerrilla Warfare!' before reconsidering..
• Headline: Indian Job Bill Advances. Impact: The advancement of the Indian Job Bill enabled federal funding for tribal communities that led to the creation of countless community gardens, ironically making them the envy of city dwellers who only grew cacti.. Fact: The Navajo and Hopi tribes once tried to open a food truck called 'Tacos and Traditions,' but it was a disaster—turns out, they weren't fans of taco trucks..