NOVEMBER 8, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Screen Guild Advocate Defends Hearing Rights. Impact: E Lavery's hearing rights advocacy sparked a secret society of hearing enthusiasts that eventually led to a global conference on earwax management. You're welcome, world!. Fact: Did you know that hearing aids have been around since the 17th century? They used to be made from animal horns. Talk about a bad hair day!.
• Headline: Fluorine in New Jersey's Water Supply. Impact: The push for fluorine in water became a slippery slope, leading to a future where everyone had sparkling white teeth and the world's toothpaste supply was depleted overnight.. Fact: Fluoride was once considered a toxic waste product. Now it's the reason you can smile without scaring children. Progress!.
• Headline: HALLECK BACKS TAX CUT; Reduction Is 'Compatible' With Foreign Aid, He Says. Impact: Halleck's tax cut endorsement inadvertently led to an uprising of accountants who decided that tax loopholes were the new national sport. Who knew spreadsheets could be so thrilling?. Fact: Tax cuts are like diet fads: everyone loves them until they realize it still doesn’t make them rich or skinny..
• Headline: GEORGE F. MOTT. Impact: George F. Mott's name appearing in headlines resulted in a sudden spike in baby names, leading to an entire generation of Georges who were perpetually confused about their own identities.. Fact: George is derived from the Greek word for 'farmer.' So basically, if your name is George, you should probably be planting something..
• Headline: MOTHER M. GENEVIEVE. Impact: Mother M. Genevieve's influence led to a movement where nuns started running marathons, turning convents into training camps. Who knew holiness could also mean hitting the pavement?. Fact: Nuns have been known to run marathons, but they’re usually running away from people asking them for favors!.
• Headline: bate Set for Red Perjury Trial. Impact: The perjury trial of H. R. Christoffel ignited a national debate on the ethical standards of labor leaders, resulting in a new reality show: 'Who Wants to Be a Truth-Teller?'. Fact: Perjury is one of those fancy words that sounds much worse than lying, like it's somehow more sophisticated. Spoiler: It's not..
• Headline: DR. WALTER A. BOCK. Impact: Dr. Walter A. Bock's name became synonymous with medical breakthroughs, leading to a future where every Walter has to carry a stethoscope just to keep up the reputation.. Fact: The title 'Doctor' doesn’t always mean they know what they’re doing—just ask Dr. Google!.