SEPTEMBER 27, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Curran Wins NMU Election Victory. Impact: The NMU election results led to the formation of a labor union so powerful that it eventually influenced a nationwide coffee break policy, ensuring everyone gets at least 15 minutes of 'we're not doing any work right now' time.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complex than union negotiations is a family Thanksgiving dinner?.
• Headline: Paralyzed Boy Attends World Series. Impact: The paralyzed boy attending the World Series sparked an annual tradition where kids with disabilities are given the chance to throw the first pitch, leading to the invention of the 'throwing arm' therapy ball—now a staple in every gym.. Fact: Interestingly, the only thing more exciting than a paralyzed boy at a baseball game is a cat that can predict the outcome of the World Series. Spoiler: they always pick the winning team..
• Headline: Civilian Status Frees Hirshberg On Charge of Cruelty to Prisoners; Navy Signalman Cleared Because He Was Out of Service One Day Before Re-enlisting -- U.S. Court Voids Court-Martial. Impact: The Hirshberg case set a precedent that allowed future military personnel to avoid court-martial by simply taking a long weekend prior to re-enlisting, thus creating the world's first 'Get Out of Jail Free' card for soldiers.. Fact: Fun fact: the only people who found this ruling confusing were the lawyers, who were still trying to understand how they could get paid for doing nothing..
• Headline: CONVICTION APPEAL TO TEST RENT LAW; Realty Men Under Workhouse Sentences to Seek Ruling on Constitutionality. Impact: The appeal concerning the rent law led to a series of legal battles that ultimately resulted in the invention of the first 'rent strike' pizza party—because nothing says protest like free food.. Fact: Did you know that lawyers often argue cases just to get free lunches? It's true; the courtroom is just a fancy cafeteria with a gavel..
• Headline: Stewarts Retire Hunter Trophy As Cokesbury Wins at Bryn Mawr; Butte Rock of Same Stable Second in Test for Foxhunters Prize -- Mrs. Whitney's Horses Get 3 More Blues at Show. Impact: Cokesbury's victory at Bryn Mawr triggered a chain reaction in the horse racing community that resulted in the first-ever horse fashion week, where horses were judged not just on speed, but also on their fabulous outfits.. Fact: Did you know that horses have better fashion sense than most humans? Ever seen a horse in a bow tie? Instant class!.
• Headline: KINDERGARTEN GROUP FIGHTS MERIT RATING. Impact: The kindergarten group's fight against merit rating led to a nationwide protest where teachers began grading students on how cute they looked in their first-day-of-school outfits, forever changing the education system.. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing more confusing than kindergarten report cards is trying to explain to a five-year-old why their drawing of a cat is a 'D' instead of an 'A.'.
• Headline: 56 FIGHTING CRAFT ENTER GOLDEN GATE; 22,000 Officers and Men Will Enjoy Bay Cities Leave After Hawaii War Games. Impact: The arrival of 56 fighting craft in San Francisco marked the beginning of the 'Bay Cities Leave' tradition, inspiring countless tourists to pretend they know how to sail while actually just drinking overpriced coffee on the docks.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more chaotic than a fleet of ships entering a harbor is the traffic jam caused by tourists trying to take selfies in front of them?.
• Headline: STATE AIDES PRESS TIDELANDS BILLS; Secretaries Commend Action of Governors to Demand Rights in Congress. Impact: The movement for tidelands ownership led to a series of congressional debates so boring that they accidentally created a new genre of sleep aid podcasts—'Tidelands Talk: The Snooze You Can Use.'. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing less exciting than tidelands bills in Congress is watching paint dry—at least the paint has the decency to dry in a color that doesn't put you to sleep..