SEPTEMBER 14, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: First 4-Engine Jet Fighter Ready for Testing. Impact: If the XP-87 had never been tested, we might still be traveling by horse and buggy, or worse, relying on carrier pigeons for military communication. Thanks a lot, jet engines!. Fact: Did you know that the XP-87 was so ahead of its time that pilots often mistook it for a UFO? It didn’t help that it could outrun most of them..
• Headline: Innovative Heiland Synchronizer Launch. Impact: The invention of this synchronizer led to an explosion of awkward family portraits that are now gracing the walls of thousands of homes. Thanks to this, everyone can cringe at their childhood hairstyles.. Fact: Fun fact: the 'brown toner' was originally just a typo for 'brownie camera.' But who doesn’t love a good mix-up in photography?.
• Headline: Lewis Veto Threatens Labor Law Changes. Impact: This veto set off a chain reaction that led to decades of labor disputes, strikes, and the eventual birth of the phrase 'Can I speak to your manager?'. Fact: Interesting tidbit: the only thing Lewis managed to successfully veto was his own popularity. He really knew how to make friends!.
• Headline: Swedish Photographer's Portraits Shown Here. Impact: This exhibition inspired countless people to try their hand at photography, resulting in 92% of all holiday photos being taken at awkward angles with terrible lighting for the next 50 years.. Fact: Did you know that Swedish photographers have a knack for capturing the essence of 'just woke up' in their subjects? It's an art form!.
• Headline: FEARS OF THIRD PARTY LESSEN FOR DEMOCRATS; Latest Moves by Wallace and Pepper Indicate There Will Be No Split. Impact: This moment of unity prevented a third-party disaster, which means we dodged 20 years of political debates that would’ve made our heads spin like a roller coaster.. Fact: Fun fact: There was a brief period when 'Wallace and Pepper' was considered as a name for a trendy new breakfast cereal. It didn’t catch on..
• Headline: PRIVATE UTILITIES TO OPEN OFFENSIVE; Power Concerns to Campaign to Disclose 'Waste of Funds' at Government Plants PRIVATE UTILITIES TO OPEN OFFENSIVE. Impact: This campaign sparked the age-old battle between public and private utilities, resulting in a never-ending cycle of complaints that still echoes in town hall meetings today.. Fact: Did you know that 'waste of funds' is just bureaucrat speak for 'we could’ve really used that money to upgrade the coffee machine'?.
• Headline: GILLETTE'S FANTASTIC CASTLE OPEN. Impact: The opening of this castle led to a surge in tourism, proving that sometimes all you need to attract visitors is a fancy castle and a catchy name. Who knew?. Fact: Fun fact: Gillette's castle was built with the sole purpose of ensuring that no one ever left without a clean shave..
• Headline: The Danger in Spiraling Prices; An economist says that we must cooperate to stabilize the national economy if we are to maintain full employment. The Danger in Spiraling Prices The Danger in Spiraling Prices. Impact: This warning fell on deaf ears, leading to countless economic crises, inflation, and the invention of the term 'money doesn't grow on trees' to explain why we can't buy avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that the reason prices spiral is because no one wants to hear the word 'budget'? It's just too scary!.