SEPTEMBER 12, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Decline in Steel Product Shipments. Impact: The decline in steel shipments led to a shocking realization that without strong metal products, future generations would struggle to build things like skyscrapers and roller coasters. Who knew a shortage of steel could derail the entire amusement park industry?. Fact: Steel is so strong that it can hold entire buildings up, yet here we are discussing shipments like they're the latest TikTok trend..
• Headline: Boosting French-U.S. Trade in 1947. Impact: By trying to enhance trade between France and the U.S., a butterfly flapped its wings and inadvertently set off a chain reaction that led to the creation of the most complex international trade agreements, aka the world's longest legal documents.. Fact: If only they had made trade agreements as simple as 'I’ll trade you my lunch for yours', we might have avoided decades of bureaucratic headaches..
• Headline: SHARP & DOHME, INC., ADVANCES OFFICIALS. Impact: The election of new officials at Sharp & Dohme led to a series of changes in pharmaceutical practices, which ultimately resulted in a future where people could self-diagnose their ailments by Googling symptoms. Thanks, internet!. Fact: Sharp & Dohme was once known for their aspirin. Now, they’re just known for giving you a headache when you see your medical bills..
• Headline: NEW HAVEN ENDING LONG RECEIVERSHIP; Federal Judge Orders Road to Resume Management After 12 Years in Reorganization STOCKHOLDERS WIPED OUT $375,600,000 Capital Planned Under New Set-up -- ICC Must Authorize Final Steps NEW HAVEN ENDING LONG RECEIVERSHIP. Impact: After 12 years in receivership, the New Haven's recovery surprisingly inspired a slew of motivational speakers to emerge, claiming they could help ‘turn your life around’ in just half the time—because who doesn’t love a good comeback story?. Fact: The $375,600,000 wiped out in capital could have funded a small country—or at least a really nice college fund for someone’s kids..
• Headline: CHECK CLEARINGS RISE; Week's Volume, $12,009,805,000, 5% Greater Than in 1946. Impact: The rise in check clearings foreshadowed the eventual downfall of paper checks, leading to the creation of digital currencies and the rise of a future where people are just trading Bitcoin for cat memes.. Fact: Clearing checks is like waiting for a pot of water to boil—everyone's in a hurry, but no one knows why it takes so long..
• Headline: PITTSBURGH TRADE STEADY; Small Rise in Output and Trade Offset by Drop in Shipments. Impact: Pittsburgh's trade stability set off a series of tech innovations that would later transform it from a steel town to a tech hub, paving the way for future generations to think they invented the internet in a basement.. Fact: Pittsburgh: where they went from steel to selfies in just a few decades—talk about a glow-up!.
• Headline: PRODUCERS PLAN MEETING; Manufacturers Coming to New York on Oct. 1-3. Impact: The producers meeting planned for October was the catalyst for countless other meetings that would later bore millions across various industries—thus, the cycle of pointless meetings was born.. Fact: Meetings are just a way for people to talk about talking without actually getting anything done—welcome to corporate life!.