AUGUST 26, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Denham Supports Anti-Red Union Filings. Impact: Denham's anti-Communist crusade sparked a nationwide paranoia that led to a series of unfortunate haircuts in the 50s, as everyone tried to avoid looking too 'Soviet'. Who knew hairstyles could change the course of history?. Fact: The term 'McCarthyism' didn't just refer to a political witch hunt; it also encompassed a dramatic increase in the sales of red dye. Coincidence? I think not..
• Headline: Tensions Rise in Egypt Ahead of Pact. Impact: The tension in Egypt on the eve of the British pact led to an uptick in global tourism, surprisingly. People flocked to see the birthplace of modern unrest, fueled by a mix of curiosity and bad travel advice.. Fact: Egypt's pyramids are more stable than most political agreements made in the 20th century. Just saying..
• Headline: Australia's War Crimes Trials Initiated. Impact: Australia's war crime trials gave rise to an entire industry of courtroom dramas, eventually leading to the creation of 'Law and Order: Kangaroo Court'. Hollywood has a lot to answer for.. Fact: Australia is home to more than just kangaroos; they also have an impressive collection of war crimes that make for great dinner conversation..
• Headline: CHIEF'S POST LEFT OPEN; Appointment in Hoboken Awaits Action on Indictments. Impact: The ongoing delays in Hoboken not only left the police chief role vacant but also led to a rise in amateur sleuthing, as civilians took it upon themselves to solve crimes in the absence of authority. Spoiler: they weren't great at it.. Fact: Hoboken is known for its vibrant culture, but apparently not for its timely police appointments. Who knew that could become a tourist attraction?.
• Headline: U.N. Asks 5 Consuls in Java For Report on, 'Cease-Fire'; ' Good Offices' Are Also Extended to Both Sides -- Soviet Move for Eleven-Nation Commission Is Vetoed by France CONSULS IN JAVA ASKED FOR REPORT. Impact: The U.N.'s indecision over the Indonesian conflict led to a long-standing tradition of procrastination in international diplomacy. It’s like they were waiting for someone to bring snacks before making a decision.. Fact: Vetoing a proposal is a great way to keep the peace—if by 'peace' you mean a four-hour meeting about nothing..
• Headline: SONS OF AMERICA PAY HONOR TO PAST HEADS. Impact: Honoring past leaders became a trend that spiraled into today's endless social media tributes, where everyone is suddenly an expert on historical figures' hairstyles and fashion choices.. Fact: The 'Sons of America' probably had a better family reunion than most of us, thanks to their well-honed ability to avoid awkward conversations about politics..
• Headline: TWO WOMEN KILLED BY MISHAPS IN BRONX. Impact: The tragic mishaps in the Bronx led to an immense increase in pedestrian safety regulations, which ironically made everyone more paranoid of driverless vehicles—resulting in an entire generation of people who forgot how to cross the street.. Fact: While driverless trucks can be dangerous, they also led to the invention of the 'panic button'—a necessity for anyone within a 500-foot radius of a runaway vehicle..
• Headline: CHINA'S '47 NEEDS FAR ABOVE BUDGET; Thirty Trillion Dollars Must Be Obtained, It Is Held, by Printing More Money. Impact: China’s budget crisis of '47 resulted in a global inflation phenomenon that had everyone hoarding toilet paper and creating makeshift currency from Monopoly money. And here we are, still playing with paper.. Fact: Printing more money to solve a budget crisis is like eating cake to lose weight. It’s a fun idea until reality hits..