JULY 12, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Commendation for Race Relations Coverage. Impact: This commendation somehow led to the invention of the 24-hour news cycle, where every trivial event is broadcasted as breaking news. Thanks, race relations.. Fact: Did you know that 'race relations' was once a topic of serious discussion? Now it just gets you a spot on Twitter's trending topics..
• Headline: Creation of Commemoration Coins. Impact: The minting of this coin set off a chain reaction of ridiculous commemorative coins, ultimately leading to the 'World's Largest Potato' coin. You're welcome, potato lovers.. Fact: Commemorative coins are like trophies for events that didn't really need them. Because who doesn't want to remember a boring meeting with shiny metal?.
• Headline: Dewey Engages Colorado GOP Leadership. Impact: Dewey's discussions with Colorado leaders caused a ripple effect where politicians started to believe that irrigation would solve all problems. Spoiler: it didn’t.. Fact: In a shocking twist, Dewey did NOT win the presidency in 1948, proving that 'talking with state leaders' is no guarantee of success..
• Headline: Racing at Delaware Park Nets $969,305 for State. Impact: The money raised at Delaware Park set off a gambling craze, eventually leading to the invention of online betting. Thanks a lot, Delaware.. Fact: Racing at Delaware Park sounds fancy, but it’s really just a bunch of folks hoping their horse is faster than the other guy’s..
• Headline: TAXES AND THE BUDGET. Impact: This budget discussion led to the never-ending cycle of tax debates, which are now considered a national pastime—right alongside watching paint dry.. Fact: Taxes: the only thing that’s guaranteed in life (besides death, of course)..
• Headline: MANY ORDERS TAKEN FOR MODERNIZATION; Put at Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars for Rebuilding, Floor Coverings, Fixtures AID TO EFFICIENT SELLING Goodyear Expert Says Good Layout Will 'Sales Condition' Store -- Show Ends Tonight. Impact: The push for modernization sparked a nationwide obsession with retail layouts, resulting in the birth of countless 'how to organize your store' seminars. Because nothing says 'efficient selling' like a well-placed display.. Fact: Did you know that a well-organized store can increase sales? Groundbreaking stuff, right? Next, they'll tell us that clean bathrooms also help!.
• Headline: GOVERNORS ARRIVE; Politics Certain to Be Corridor Topic at Salt Lake City. Impact: This gathering of governors led to so much politicking that it inspired the creation of the phrase 'politics as usual', cementing its reputation as a snooze fest.. Fact: Salt Lake City: where the politics are as refreshing as the air—if you don’t mind a little smog..
• Headline: H. & M. GROUP SEEKS ELECTION PROXIES; Stockholders' Committee to Press for Own Board and Slate of Officers. Impact: The election proxy saga led to stockholder meetings becoming the most boring events on earth, causing many to invent excuses to avoid them. Thanks, H. & M. Group!. Fact: Stockholders' meetings are just like family dinners, minus the good food and with more awkward silences..
• Headline: THIS GOOD EARTH IS EUROPE-BOUND. Impact: The Boy Scouts' ceremony inadvertently started a trend of overly sentimental gestures, leading to an uptick in 'friendship' bracelets worldwide. Who knew nice gestures could be so profitable?. Fact: Boy Scouts: teaching kids to tie knots and earn badges since... well, forever. Friendship bracelets were just the cherry on top!.
• Headline: SENATE CONFIRMS BRUCE; Langer Alone Opposes the New Ambassador to Argentina. Impact: Bruce’s confirmation as ambassador had a butterfly effect that resulted in diplomatic relations becoming more about who you know rather than what you know. Welcome to modern politics!. Fact: Did you know that Langer was the only one opposing Bruce's nomination? Just goes to show, sometimes you just need one dissenting voice to ruin the party..