JUNE 17, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Teachers Guild Opposes Subversive Groups Amendment. Impact: If only the Teachers Guild had embraced subversive groups, we might have invented a new way to teach history using interpretive dance and mime. The future of education would have been significantly more entertaining, if not a bit confusing.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'subversive' originally referred to people who could never find a decent parking spot? It just spiraled from there..
• Headline: UN Security Council's Historic Decision. Impact: When the Security Council voted to consider reports one paragraph at a time, it set a precedent for every future meeting where no one would ever finish anything. The slow unraveling of diplomacy began here, leading to endless PowerPoint presentations in the 21st century.. Fact: Fun fact: Russia was once so overruled that their only choice left was to start a very passionate poetry club instead of engaging in international politics..
• Headline: De Soto Plant Strike Shuts Operations. Impact: Chrysler shutting down the De Soto plant due to a strike may have inadvertently catalyzed the rise of both the fast-food industry (people needed jobs) and the 'I can't believe it's not butter' revolution (because we all needed something to cope with the stress).. Fact: Did you know that the original name for the De Soto was actually 'The Car That Will Not Be Laid Off'? True story..
• Headline: MENOTTI TWIN BILL WINS ANOTHER STAY; Upturn in Business Brings 3d Reprieve for 'Medium' and 'Telephone,' to July 5. Impact: Menotti's work being extended led to a chain reaction of so many more artsy events and hipster coffee shops that eventually, the idea of 'just sitting in silence' became the hottest trend of the decade.. Fact: Did you know that Menotti is not just a composer but also a master at delaying the inevitable? You could say he was the original procrastinator of the music world!.
• Headline: CHINA REDS STRIKE AT RAILWAY LINES; Peiping, Tientsin Are Forced to Use Air Transport -- Talk With Mongols Planned. Impact: As the railway lines were compromised, the Communists' reliance on air transport sparked a long-standing rivalry between airlines and railways that eventually resulted in the rise of those awful in-flight peanuts. Thanks for nothing, Communist Party.. Fact: Fun fact: The air transport industry wasn't always known for its safety standards. They once considered flying as a legitimate way to get from point A to point B, but with a touch of chaos!.
• Headline: BRITISH, CZECHS SIGN CULTURAL AGREEMENT. Impact: The British and Czechs signing a cultural agreement may have set off a chain reaction of increasingly bizarre cultural exchanges, including a brief period when everyone thought that wearing socks with sandals was fashionable.. Fact: Did you know that cultural agreements often include a clause about not mentioning the terrible food? It’s a real thing!.
• Headline: CATHERWOOD GETS CORNELL DEANSHIP; University Gives Ives' Former Industrial Relations Post to State Commerce Chief. Impact: Catherwood's appointment to the deanship contributed to the increasing bureaucratic complexity of higher education, leading to the inevitable rise of coffee shop discussions about how many deans it takes to change a light bulb.. Fact: Did you know that the title 'dean' originally meant 'one who is in charge of ensuring that students have enough paper to procrastinate on'?.
• Headline: WARNS ON FIRECRACKERS; Safety Council Reports Accidents From Illegal Explosives. Impact: The warning on firecrackers set in motion a future of 'DIY' safety regulations where every child would eventually learn to make their own fireworks, leading to countless backyard disasters and the invention of the phrase 'hold my soda'.. Fact: Did you know that the most dangerous firecracker is the one that says 'do not light'? It’s practically begging for attention!.