MAY 12, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Shake-Up in City Housing Leadership. Impact: Farrell's shake-up led to a chain reaction of housing policies that eventually resulted in the invention of the inflatable house, which was a hit at summer festivals until it deflated during a particularly intense game of musical chairs.. Fact: Did you know that 'shake-up' doesn't actually involve any physical shaking? You'd think there'd be some confetti involved..
• Headline: Congressional Roll-Calls from NY, NJ, CT. Impact: The roll-call vote initiated a new trend of accountability in Congress, leading to the modern-day practice of tweeting every time a politician sneezes. You're welcome.. Fact: Fun fact: Roll-call votes have been happening since the dawn of democracy. So, yes, people have been bored in Congress for a very long time..
• Headline: King Accepts Colonel-in-Chief Role. Impact: King's appointment sparked a series of royal events that eventually led to the first-ever royal-themed escape room, where participants try to escape before the next royal baby announcement.. Fact: Did you know that being a Colonel-in-Chief doesn’t actually involve any military training? It's more of a fancy title for knowing how to wave at parades..
• Headline: Vienna's Old Masters Said to Be Sought For Exhibition by a Museum in New York. Impact: The exhibition of Vienna's Old Masters prompted an artistic rivalry that led to the creation of the 'New Masters' who, ironically, were just really good at painting cats.. Fact: Did you know that the Met Museum has a secret collection of paintings that only includes cats? Spoiler: They're all masterpieces..
• Headline: CARL H. HOPBB. Impact: Carl H. Hopbb's name misspelling led to a centuries-long debate on the importance of spellcheck, which eventually resulted in the invention of a time-traveling spellchecker that never actually works.. Fact: Did you know 'Hopbb' is actually a common typo for 'Hopper'? Just kidding, I made that up. Nobody knows what that is..
• Headline: MRS. KATE H. ARMISTEAD; Grandniece of Sam Houston Dies in Nashville at 75. Impact: Kate H. Armistead's death set off a family feud over who would inherit Sam Houston's spirit, ultimately leading to a bizarre reality show on genealogical battles called 'Heirs of the Texas Star.'. Fact: Did you know that Sam Houston once declared he would never be a politician? Guess he didn't get the memo that politics is a family tradition..
• Headline: GRAY MILLER, 62, TOBACCO OFFICIAL; Executive of British-American Co. of London, Ex-President of Firm, in Canada, Dies 1. Impact: Gray Miller's death had a ripple effect that caused a global shortage of tobacco, leading to the invention of 'smoke-flavored air' that became the go-to accessory for hipsters everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that tobacco executives rarely smoke? They prefer to watch others do it while they sip on organic green juices..
• Headline: 2,000,000 ON DUTY OUT OF HOMELANDS; Troops Occupy or Garrison Foreign Areas -- Colonial, Civil Wars Keep Many Busy. Impact: The deployment of 2 million troops led to the establishment of the world's first 'Garrison Olympics,' where troops competed in events like 'Fastest Bunker Building' and 'Best Campfire Story.'. Fact: Did you know that 'garrison' is actually Latin for 'I really need a vacation'? True story. Just kidding, I made that up..
• Headline: PRESIDENT FLIES TO VISIT MOTHER, WHO HAD SETBACK; He Goes Home for Three-Hour Stay With Her as She Mends From Fracture of Hip. Impact: President Truman's visit to his mother resulted in a nationwide trend of presidential family visits that ultimately led to the first-ever 'Family Reunion Summit' where world leaders awkwardly avoided discussing politics.. Fact: Did you know that presidential family visits are often more about the family than the presidency? It's mostly just about who's bringing the potato salad..