MAY 4, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring 'Lightning Strikes Twice'. Impact: If lightning strikes twice, does that mean the next time it strikes, we should all invest in umbrellas? This incident initiated a trend of paranoia around weather forecasts, leading to an eventual rise in weather-related insurance policies and an entire industry dedicated to predicting lightning. Thanks, Marguerite!. Fact: Lightning can strike the same place more than once, especially if that place is the Empire State Building. So, if you're looking for a safe spot, maybe avoid tall buildings during thunderstorms..
• Headline: Exploring Latin America's Unique Contrasts. Impact: The contrasts of Latin America led to a never-ending debate on whether to sip coffee or tequila while contemplating life choices. This cultural duality eventually inspired countless hipster cafes around the world where people ironically drink both.. Fact: The term 'mañana' literally means 'tomorrow', but in some cases, it seems to mean 'whenever I feel like it'..
• Headline: Gamma Rays' Effect; Sterility Said to Have Followed Atomic Bombs' Explosions. Impact: The gamma rays' effects from atomic bombs sparked a whirlwind of debates about nuclear policies, health regulations, and the necessity of wearing lead aprons at the dentist. As a result, we now spend half our lives worrying about the invisible things around us.. Fact: Gamma rays are so powerful they could practically power a superhero. Or, you know, sterilize thousands of people. No capes required..
• Headline: METHODISTS VIEW CHINA CENTENARY; Council of Bishops Considers Observance in 1948 of 100 Years' Work by Missions. Impact: The Methodist Church's deliberations on China's centenary set the stage for every church committee meeting ever—endless discussions about dates and decorations that somehow lead to the conclusion of 'let's just order pizza.'. Fact: The first missionaries in China probably didn't expect to get into the pizza business, but here we are, decades later, with Chinese takeout being a worldwide phenomenon..
• Headline: College Degrees in World Affairs. Impact: Prof Buck’s comments on world affairs sparked a chain reaction of academic degrees that led to a generation of students wondering why they ever thought being knowledgeable was a good idea. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.. Fact: World affairs degrees are like a buffet—everyone wants a taste, but very few leave satisfied and full..
• Headline: U.N. Military Staff Report Shows Big 5 Are Still Split; REPORT CONFIRMS SPLIT ON U.N. FORCE. Impact: The ongoing split among the Big 5 led to an endless cycle of diplomatic failures and meetings where everyone pretended to agree while secretly plotting their next tweet. The phrase 'let's agree to disagree' was officially born.. Fact: The Big 5’s split is a lot like a group project in school—everyone has a different idea, and no one wants to do the actual work..
• Headline: Small Flock of Hens Can Be Cared for Easily. Impact: The easy care of small flocks of hens inspired a whole generation of urban 'chicken parents.' This led to countless social media posts of cute hens in tiny sweaters, forever changing the aesthetic of backyard farming.. Fact: Raising hens has become so trendy that soon you’ll need a degree in chicken psychology to keep up with their demands for organic feed and spa days..
• Headline: FAMILY WEAKNESSES DEPLORED BY SHEEN. Impact: Sheen's lament about family weaknesses opened the floodgates for therapists everywhere, leading to a booming industry in family counseling and the birth of reality TV shows showcasing those very same weaknesses.. Fact: If family weaknesses were a sport, we'd all be gold medalists, proving that dysfunction is truly universal..
• Headline: PHONE OPERATORS WILL DECIDE TODAY ON RETURN TO JOBS; Decision on Crossing Picket Lines Is Seen Resting on Manhattan Group's Vote 2,000 CAST BALLOTS HERE Government Reported to Have Urged a $5.14 Rise for Long Lines -- A.T. & T. Opposes It Phone Operators to Decide Today On Whether to Cross Picket Lines. Impact: The decision on whether phone operators would cross picket lines ultimately led to years of negotiations and the rise of automated customer service—because who needs a human to talk to when you can have a robot?. Fact: In the future, we may all long for the good old days when people answered phones instead of those robotic voices that can’t understand 'representative' no matter how many times you say it..