FEBRUARY 20, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic Navy Plane Crash in Guam. Impact: If only that pilot had taken a different route, we might have invented a whole new method of air travel by now. Instead, we just have another tragic reminder of why we can't have nice things.. Fact: Did you know that more planes have crashed in Guam than there are actual residents in some parts of the island? Just kidding, but it does feel like a dangerous game of aviation roulette..
• Headline: Corfu Mine Controversy Escalates at U.N.. Impact: This little spat over territorial waters probably led to a series of awkward dinners at international summits for decades. Imagine the diplomatic faux pas—'Hey, remember that time we almost went to war over a fishing boat?'. Fact: Did you know that Kapo's last name translates to 'boss'? Guess he thought he was the boss of the seas too!.
• Headline: Undercover Agents Nip New Pier Racket; Four Seized for Sale of Passes to Visitors. Impact: This undercover operation probably set off a chain reaction of pier-related crimes. Next thing you know, someone's selling fake seaweed wraps and charging tourists double!. Fact: Did you know that selling pier passes is the new hot ticket for shady entrepreneurs? Who knew the ocean was such a lucrative market for scams?.
• Headline: New Ocean Flight Record Set. Impact: Setting a record for ocean flights likely inspired competitors to push their limits. If only someone had landed in the Bermuda Triangle; we could have had a real mystery on our hands!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing faster than an ocean flight record is the number of people who forget to turn off their phones mid-flight?.
• Headline: TORTURE CHARGES DENIED BY BRITISH. Impact: Denying torture allegations? That's like a toddler denying they ate the last cookie. This probably set the stage for some serious diplomatic eye-rolling for years to come.. Fact: Did you know that the British military's denial playbook is thicker than most novels? It's like the extended edition of 'How to Avoid Responsibility.'.
• Headline: Veterans Fleeced in Cab Sales Through License Racket Here; VETERANS FLEECED IN TAXICAB RACKET. Impact: This cab sales racket could have spiraled into a full-blown war between cabbies and veterans. 'Taxi Wars: The Medallion Chronicles' might have been the next big blockbuster!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than being fleeced by a cab driver is having to stand next to them at a convention? Talk about awkward..
• Headline: GERMANY GAINING IN HEAVY INDUSTRY; Coal Shows Biggest Growth Despite Handicaps, New Statistics Disclose. Impact: Germany's industrial rise might have been enough to make other countries green with envy. Or it could lead to a series of unfortunate events that would echo through the centuries—thanks, history!. Fact: Did you know that coal mining is like the original 'Get Rich Quick' scheme? Just without the 'Get Rich' part for most miners!.
• Headline: 5 HOSPITALS CLOSE MATERNITY SERVICES. Impact: The closure of maternity services might have sent some parents into a frenzy, leading to a baby boom in other regions. Because nothing says 'let's have a family' like a lack of hospital beds.. Fact: Did you know that NYC hospitals closing maternity services is like closing the door after the baby’s already crawled out? Talk about a late response!.
• Headline: China Drops Philippine Talks. Impact: China dropping talks over the Philippines might have sparked a slew of international side-eye. You know, like when you see your ex at a party with someone new—awkward!. Fact: Did you know that when countries drop talks, it’s like a messy breakup? One side always wants to negotiate, while the other is just over it..