FEBRUARY 13, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Crisler Retains Coaching Position in 1947. Impact: If Crisler hadn't withdrawn, California might have become the new coaching Mecca, leading to a butterfly effect where surf culture and football collided in a bizarre fusion of beach parties and touchdown dances.. Fact: Despite his withdrawal, Crisler still managed to break more hearts than a rom-com protagonist..
• Headline: Money Market Stabilization Efforts in 1947. Impact: The stabilization of the money market somehow led to an unexpected rise in DIY home projects, resulting in more mismatched furniture and Pinterest fails than ever before.. Fact: In a shocking twist, people actually thought 'money market' was a new trendy farmers' market..
• Headline: Decline in Japanese Strikes Noted. Impact: With the sharp drop in strikes, MacArthur inadvertently paved the way for the rise of 'office politics'—the true terror of cubicles everywhere.. Fact: Strikes were so common that the Japanese had an official ‘Strike Day’ where everyone just stayed home and complained..
• Headline: Dutch Tulip Bulbs Developed in War Are Available to U.S., Expert Says Here. Impact: The introduction of Dutch tulip bulbs to the U.S. market eventually sparked a gardening craze that led to more backyard tulip festivals than anyone could handle, resulting in a national tulip shortage and subsequent black market.. Fact: These tulip bulbs were developed in wartime, proving that even in chaos, some people just want pretty flowers..
• Headline: Books of the Times. Impact: Kantor's book might not have changed the world, but it certainly changed the lives of those who had to pretend to read it at dinner parties.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than Kantor's writing was trying to explain it to someone who only read the back cover..
• Headline: Scrip Racket Nets $100,000. Impact: The scrip racket made Paris the center of illicit currency exchange, leading to the rise of 'Parisian criminals' who wore berets and sipped espresso while discussing their latest heists.. Fact: They say crime doesn't pay, but apparently it pays enough to invest in a nice cafe..
• Headline: 6 Candles in '17 Dugout, He Now Has 1 in London. Impact: The candle-lit bar in London became the trendsetter for all future hipster bars, which eventually led to a global shortage of wax and the creation of the 'Candlelight Revolution.'. Fact: This bar is where the phrase 'let there be light' was humorously reinterpreted to mean 'let there be ambiance.'.
• Headline: URGES REDUCTION IN LUMBER PRICES; Commerce Department Warns of 'Chaotic Situation' and Possible Lost Market. Impact: The Commerce Department's warning about lumber prices led to a nationwide obsession with woodwork, inspiring a generation to take up carpentry and inadvertently causing a lumberjack aesthetic to become a fashion trend.. Fact: The only chaotic situation was deciding whether to build a table or a chair first..
• Headline: TOKYO SUICIDES BARRED; Many in Tojo's Prison Have Tried to Die, Officers Reveal. Impact: The suicides in Tojo's prison led to increased scrutiny of mental health in prisons, ultimately influencing the establishment of more humane practices in correctional facilities around the world.. Fact: The only thing more tragic than these suicides was the fact that they went unnoticed for too long, highlighting a significant gap in mental health care..
• Headline: Part of Dover Cliffs Collapses. Impact: The collapse of part of the White Cliffs of Dover led to an unexpected surge in seaside tourism, as people flocked to witness the new 'cliffside attractions'—because nothing says 'vacation' like precarious geological formations.. Fact: The cliffs were so iconic that some tourists simply took selfies with the newly formed beach instead of the actual cliffs..