JANUARY 17, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: TWA Pilots' Wage Dispute Arbitration. Impact: The wage dispute between TWA and its pilots led to a series of events where pilots across the nation suddenly started demanding better pay, resulting in a nationwide pilot shortage in the 1980s. This ultimately forced airlines to recruit from the Jedi Academy to fill the gap, creating a new generation of pilots who could also wield lightsabers.. Fact: Wage disputes are just like reality TV shows: they never really end, and everyone ends up regretting it..
• Headline: Mangrum Leads Richmond Golf Tourney. Impact: Mangrum's win is the butterfly that flapped its wings, eventually leading to the creation of the first golf reality show where players had to survive in the wilderness to prove their skills. Spoiler alert: they all forgot how to play golf.. Fact: Golf: the only sport where you can be quiet for four hours while trying to hit a ball into a hole that’s just sitting there waiting for you..
• Headline: Call for Law to Prevent Hotel Fires. Impact: This push for a 'model law' to prevent fires in hotels led to the eventual invention of fireproof pajamas. Ironically, they just made everyone too comfortable to leave the building in case of an actual fire.. Fact: Fire safety experts really just want to make sure you don’t roast marshmallows in your pajamas… at least not while you’re sleeping..
• Headline: Books of the Times. Impact: The publication of 'Great Adventures and Explorations' led to a massive surge in people thinking they could become explorers too. However, most just ended up lost in IKEA instead.. Fact: Explorers used to discover new lands; now they just discover new coffee shops in their neighborhood..
• Headline: BRITONS TO ADMIT POLES; Miners Agree to Employment if They Join Union. Impact: The agreement to employ Polish miners if they joined the union resulted in a whole new level of union politics, culminating in a secret handshake that was so complicated, it required a PowerPoint presentation to learn.. Fact: Union meetings are the only place where you can get a free meal while also contemplating your life choices..
• Headline: TAKES RED CROSS POST; James M. Cecil Named General Chairman of 1947 Fund. Impact: James M. Cecil's appointment as general chairman led to an unexpected boom in Red Cross fundraising events, ironically resulting in more people getting hurt during the events than in actual disasters.. Fact: Becoming a Red Cross volunteer is like joining a superhero league, but instead of capes, you get first aid kits..
• Headline: Plane Fare Reduced. Impact: Pan Am reducing airfare sparked a race among airlines to offer cheaper prices, which eventually led to people flying so often that their frequent flyer miles became an official currency in some parts of the world.. Fact: Airlines have a secret rule: the cheaper the ticket, the more likely you’ll end up sitting next to a chatty toddler..
• Headline: SAGGING MILK PRICE TO BE PEGGED BY U.S.; SAGGING MILK PRICE TO BE PEGGED BY U.S.. Impact: The pegging of milk prices by the U.S. government led to an unexpected rise in the popularity of almond milk, causing cows everywhere to start a grassroots campaign for their own milk alternatives.. Fact: Milk prices are like your mood: they can drop at any moment, and you might end up crying into your cereal..
• Headline: Nourse Hails Ford Action. Impact: Nourse hailing Ford's price cut sent shockwaves through the automotive industry, leading to a bizarre trend where cars began to be sold at lower prices than some fast food meals. The result? A lot of confused customers at drive-thrus.. Fact: Car prices and fast food prices: two things you never thought would be compared until you realized both can make you feel sick..