JANUARY 12, 1947

Full News Archive

• Headline: Protestant Conference Site Purchased. Impact: This seemingly harmless purchase set off a chain reaction where religious leaders began meeting more frequently, leading to the creation of the first inter-denominational potluck. Imagine the chaos of all those casseroles mixing!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more diverse than the menu at a religious potluck is the number of opinions on whether to serve grape juice or wine..
• Headline: Rare Jade Bowls Fetch High Price. Impact: The sale of these bowls sparked an underground jade bowl market, unintentionally leading to a rise in amateur archaeologists who think they can find their own fortune in grandma's attic.. Fact: Did you know jade is often referred to as 'the stone of heaven'? Too bad it doesn’t come with a heavenly price tag!.
• Headline: Citrus Shipments Resume via SS Zacapa. Impact: The return of citrus shipments led to an unprecedented citrus boom, which indirectly caused a nationwide obsession with citrus-scented cleaning products. Thanks for that, 1950s!. Fact: In case you were wondering, the phrase 'when life gives you lemons' was actually a slogan for a very short-lived lemonade stand in the 1940s..
• Headline: Diesel Engine Installation Survey Shows Light Weight, High Speed Type Favored. Impact: This survey paved the way for the rise of fast food drive-thrus, as the combination of lightweight engines and impatience transformed the world of culinary convenience forever.. Fact: Did you know that the first drive-thru was invented because someone couldn’t be bothered to get out of their car? A true testament to human ingenuity!.
• Headline: IMPACT STRENGTH PLASTIC FEATURE; Winner Company Boats Listed in 3 Sizes -- Hull Molded in a Single Operation. Impact: The introduction of impact-strength plastic boats led to the first ever 'plastic boat race', where competitors quickly learned that the real danger was not the water, but the potential for a water balloon fight with the spectators.. Fact: Plastic boats are basically just floating reminders that yes, we can make things lighter, but we still can’t make them sink-proof!.
• Headline: FORMER TROOPSHIP TO BE LUXURY LINER; Monarch of Bermuda Will Be Reconditioned to Re-enter the New York-Bermuda Run. Impact: Turning a troopship into a luxury liner caused a massive uptick in vacationing soldiers who thought they were going to war but ended up on a cruise instead. Talk about a plot twist!. Fact: The Monarch of Bermuda originally served as a troopship but was quickly repurposed when someone realized that sunbathing is a lot more fun than military drills..
• Headline: SPELLMAN GETS DEGREE; Carroll University Honors the Cardinal at Cleveland. Impact: This honorary degree led to a trend of giving out degrees for everything, including 'Best Couch Potato' and 'Most Creative Snack Combinations'. The future is bright, folks!. Fact: In the world of honorary degrees, the only thing more common than the degree itself is the eye roll from those who actually studied for theirs..
• Headline: GLIMPSES OF OLD PLANTATION LIFE; Bayou Country's Historic Homes Open Doors to Overnight Guests. Impact: Opening these plantation homes to guests sparked a trend in haunted tourism, leading to a rise in ghost hunters who think they're going to find charming spirits but instead encounter cranky ancestors.. Fact: Did you know that most plantation homes are actually just trying to get rid of their ghostly residents? They come with a side of exorcism if you ask nicely..
• Headline: Jersey Flier Dies in Florida. Impact: This tragic event highlighted the dangers of aviation and led to stricter regulations, ultimately resulting in today’s 'no flying with an emotional support alligator' laws. Safety first!. Fact: The aviation industry learned the hard way that 'fly high' doesn't mean literally, especially when you’re trying to fix your hair at 30,000 feet..
• Headline: Fake Fire Victim Sought. Impact: This bizarre incident opened the floodgates for all sorts of creative schemes, ultimately inspiring a reality TV show titled 'Who Wants to Be a Fake Victim?', which never aired for obvious reasons.. Fact: Did you know that pretending to be a fire victim is about as popular as pretending to be a contestant on a game show that doesn't exist? Both are equally questionable!.