DECEMBER 6, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: UNESCO Advocates for Classic Literature Translations. Impact: This push for translation led to a global obsession with literary classics, resulting in countless awkward dinner parties where someone quotes Shakespeare and everyone rolls their eyes.. Fact: Fun fact: If you translate Shakespeare into emojis, it still gets misinterpreted. Just like the original..
• Headline: U.S. and Britain Reject U.N. Relief Agency. Impact: By refusing to join a U.N. relief agency, the U.S. and Britain decided to play a game of international chicken. Spoiler alert: it ended badly, but nobody wants to admit they were playing.. Fact: Did you know the term 'chicken' originally referred to a diplomatic meeting that went horribly wrong? Just kidding, but it should!.
• Headline: ARMS GROUP GAINS IN GREAT HARMONY; Without a Cross Word, U.N. Subcommittee Agrees to Ask Security Body for Plan Ask Council For a Plan Spaak Called to the Chair Molotov Asks Clarification. Impact: The agreement to ask for a disarmament plan was like a toddler saying they want to share their toys but then hiding them behind their back. Thanks for nothing, world leaders.. Fact: Did you know that 'disarmament' is just a fancy word for 'let's pretend we can trust each other'?.
• Headline: 4,000 MARINES ARE SET TO LEAVE CHINA SOON. Impact: The departure of 4,000 Marines from China might have led to a game of 'who can leave first' in international relations. Spoiler: it was never a fun game.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'leaving on a jet plane' was actually coined by Marines looking for an excuse to get out of awkward situations!.
• Headline: BUSINESS WORLD; Men's Hat Volume Rising Here to Buy $500,000 in Dresses Philippine War Claims Reviewed Acetate Yarns to Move. Impact: The rising hat volume signaled the beginning of the end for bad hair days. Who knew the fashion industry could have a ripple effect on self-esteem?. Fact: Did you know that the hat industry can be traced back to the cavemen who wore leaves? Talk about a fashion evolution!.
• Headline: REAL ESTATE NOTES. Impact: The opening of a new real estate office in Stockport, NY, likely led to the gentrification of the area, ensuring that only the rich could afford to live their dream of living in a quaint little town.. Fact: Did you know that real estate agents have a secret handshake to identify each other? Just kidding, but it would be cool if they did..
• Headline: Michaels Estate Sells West Side Warehouse. Impact: The sale of the West Side warehouse may have inadvertently contributed to the rise of hipster loft apartments. Thanks, capitalism!. Fact: Fun fact: Every time a warehouse is sold, a hipster gains their wings. Or at least a new Instagram account..
• Headline: ARMY TEAM WINS ITS THIRD CONSECUTIVE LAMBERT TROPHY. Impact: Winning the Lambert Trophy for the third time established this army team as the ultimate overachievers, making the other teams weep in their uniforms.. Fact: Did you know that trophies are just shiny reminders that someone else did better than you? Welcome to sports!.