OCTOBER 27, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: Turbine Wins Trenton Handicap by Neck. Impact: The victory of Turbine by a neck supposedly inspired future racehorses to train harder. Little did they know, it also led to the invention of the necktie—horse racing's most enduring fashion statement.. Fact: Did you know that horses can’t actually wear neckties? But they’ll definitely try to if it means winning a race..
• Headline: Moscow Critiques U.S. Political Parties. Impact: Moscow's disdain for U.S. parties set off a chain reaction leading to countless conspiracy theories about secret societies and lizard people in politics—because why not?. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more impetuous than imperialist expansion is a toddler left unsupervised in a candy store..
• Headline: North River Piers Return to City Control. Impact: The reversion of North River Piers to the city became a critical turning point, paving the way for future city planners to realize that ‘free’ real estate is often just a mirage.. Fact: Did you know that piers are just like bad relationships? They both require maintenance, and when they collapse, it’s usually a big mess..
• Headline: 2 Sugar Stamps Extended; Ship Peace to End Shortage; Provides for Canning, Says OPA. Impact: The extension of sugar stamps ended up causing a nationwide sweet tooth epidemic, leading to an increase in dentist appointments and a decrease in self-control.. Fact: Did you know that sugar is technically a vegetable? At least that's what I tell people when I eat an entire cake..
• Headline: Singapore Is Strike-Bound. Impact: The strike in Singapore inadvertently inspired a global trend of workers demanding better conditions, which eventually led to the invention of the coffee break—because who wants to work all the time?. Fact: Did you know that POWs loading ships isn't actually a fun game? It’s like Monopoly but with real-life consequences..
• Headline: VACANCIES AVOIDED; Bare Spots in the Garden Can Be Guarded Against. Impact: The effort to avoid vacancies in gardens turned into a nationwide obsession with home gardening, leading to the great avocado toast craze of the 2010s. Thanks, 1940s!. Fact: Did you know that a bare spot in your garden is just nature's way of telling you to stop procrastinating on your gardening skills?.
• Headline: Tenement Vignettes. Impact: Wolfert's musings on tenements ignited a literary revolution, inspiring authors to create entire genres about the woes of urban living—who knew misery could be so marketable?. Fact: Did you know that 'nothing' is, in fact, a concept? Just ask any philosopher trying to decipher the meaning of life..
• Headline: Treasure Chests for All; The twentieth-century variety is packed with man's greatest treasure and serves a useful aim.. Impact: The Treasure Chest Campaign sparked a global movement of sending books to children, which ultimately led to the rise of the 'readers are leaders' mantra—because reading is definitely more important than, you know, actual experience.. Fact: Did you know that treasure chests are just fancy boxes? If only I had a dollar for every time I’ve tried to find treasure in my attic..
• Headline: JERSEY REGISTRATION UP; Union County Municipalities Show Increase Over 1945 Levels. Impact: The increase in Jersey registrations marked the beginning of a long-standing tradition of New Jersey residents complaining about traffic—because every mile is a tale of woe.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing faster than registration in Union County is the rate at which people argue about who's the best Bruce Springsteen?.
• Headline: Dams for the Floods of War; TVA's are needed in many backward lands to raise living standards and to promote peace.. Impact: The proposal for TVA dams intended to raise living standards inadvertently led to the rise of 'riverfront property' as a trendy term, which only increased the price of living near water—because nothing says peace like overpriced real estate.. Fact: Did you know that building dams is like putting a band-aid on a broken leg? It might help, but it's definitely not the whole solution..