SEPTEMBER 24, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: WFTU Considers UNRRA's Future. Impact: If UNRRA had been discontinued, the subsequent labor movements might have been left floundering, leading to a world where workers would have turned to interpretive dance as a form of protest instead.. Fact: The WFTU was basically the 'let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya' of labor unions — because nothing says solidarity like a collective request for more bureaucracy..
• Headline: Tragic RAF Plane Crash in Libya. Impact: This tragic event underscored the dangers of aviation in the post-war era, leading to stricter safety regulations that would eventually save countless lives in future flights.. Fact: Plane crashes are a reminder that gravity is not just a suggestion; it has a way of reminding you who's boss, often in the most tragic of ways..
• Headline: Harriman's Salary Cut Announcement. Impact: This pay cut could have started a trend of underpaid government officials, leading to a future where politicians would be forced to moonlight as Uber drivers.. Fact: In a world where politicians are overpaid, Harriman’s decision is like a cat deciding to take a bath — it’s just not something you expect to see..
• Headline: 'ONEWORLD' MOTIF OF ASSEMBLY ROOM; 'World of Tomorrow' Provides Street Names for United Nations Flushing Site. Impact: The 'One World' motif inspired future generations to hold hands and sing 'We Are the World' at every global summit, effectively turning them into extended music festivals.. Fact: The United Nations was originally just a group of people trying to find a way to agree on who gets to decide the best pizza topping..
• Headline: PEACE WITH CANADA CREDITED TO IDEALS; Hanley Cites Common Heritage at Quebec Dinner of New York State Publishers. Impact: This dinner solidified the peaceful relations between the U.S. and Canada, leading to future generations asking if 'eh' should be a recognized international greeting.. Fact: Canada and the U.S. have such a peaceful relationship that they probably share a Netflix account — just don’t ask who has to pay the bill..
• Headline: GROMYKO CHARGES U.S., BRITISH TROOPS CAUSE UNEASINESS; Russian in Security Council Gets Only Poland's Support to Put Case on Agenda 'PURE PROPAGANDA' SEEN Briton Says All the World Will Detect 'Transparent' Fiction --U.S. Cool to Soviet Move. Impact: This accusation might have sparked a series of Cold War propaganda campaigns, leading to a world where every news report was backed by a catchy jingle.. Fact: Gromyko's accusations were so heavy on propaganda that they could've been mistaken for a poorly-written soap opera plot twist..
• Headline: MacArthur Aide Shifted To New Zealand Legation. Impact: This shift may have altered diplomatic relations to the point where New Zealand became the go-to vacation spot for tired diplomats needing a break from the drama.. Fact: Moving to New Zealand sounds idyllic, but remember, it’s basically just a long flight away from all the actual drama..
• Headline: TWO VETERANS GET GOVERNMENT CARS; DISABLED VETERANS GET GOVERNMENT PURCHASED CARS. Impact: This act of support for veterans may have set a precedent for future benefits, leading to a world where veterans are treated like the national treasures they are, instead of just a footnote in history.. Fact: Giving veterans cars sounds great, but let's be honest — it’s just a good way to make sure they can get to their appointments on time, unlike the rest of us..