SEPTEMBER 17, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: Railway Express Requests Rate Increase. Impact: Had the Railway Express successfully raised their rates, perhaps we’d all be traveling by hovercraft today, with exorbitant fares that would make rail travel look like a bargain.. Fact: In a twist of fate, railroads have a long history of complaints about rates—if only they had a time machine, they could have fixed the pricing structure before they even asked!.
• Headline: Gromyko Accuses Greece at UN. Impact: Gromyko's request could have led to a different Cold War scenario, where Greece became the next moon landing instead of, you know, a battleground of ideologies.. Fact: Did you know that the USSR had a flair for the dramatic? They could have auditioned for a soap opera with all the accusations they threw around!.
• Headline: Labor Management Cooperation in 1946. Impact: H Ford 2d's push for cooperation might have inspired a global labor union that would magically solve world peace through synchronized coffee breaks.. Fact: Labor-management cooperation: because nothing says 'I love you' like a contract negotiation at 3 AM..
• Headline: Paris Expects Truman to Support Byrnes and Ask Wallace to Resign; PARIS SEES TRUMAN AS BACKING BYRNES. Impact: If Truman had taken a different stance, we might have seen a totally different geopolitical landscape, possibly with a Truman Doctrine that involved baking pies instead of foreign policy.. Fact: It's always fun watching politicians play musical chairs, especially when they’re trying to find a seat at the international table..
• Headline: CONNALLY INSISTS ON A FREE TRIESTE TO PROTECT PEACE; NEW YORK CITY ADDS TO ITS POLICE FORCE. Impact: Connally’s insistence on a free Trieste could have led to a world where cities were divided by random whims, making travel plans a nightmare and causing mass confusion at border checkpoints.. Fact: Fun fact: ‘Free Trieste’ sounds like a trendy café where you can sip overpriced coffee while discussing how to fix the world..
• Headline: WINS $1,000 MUSIC PRIZE; Max Pressler, Young Palestine Pianist, Gets Debussy Award. Impact: Max Pressler's win might have inspired a chain of similar awards, resulting in a world where every teenager with a guitar thinks they’re the next big star.. Fact: Winning a music prize is great, but can you imagine being the guy who lost to a teenager? Ouch!.
• Headline: RATE HEARING PUT OFF; Utility Commission Sets Oct. 1 for Study of Intrastate Plea. Impact: The postponed rate hearing could have led to an alternate reality where people just accepted whatever rates were thrown at them, leading to widespread apathy and overpriced coffee.. Fact: Postponing meetings is the adult version of ‘the dog ate my homework.’ Truly, the classic excuse!.
• Headline: CORPORATION REPORTS. Impact: Corporate reports like this could have inspired a new genre of literature—corporate thrillers—where numbers and spreadsheets become the stuff of legends.. Fact: The most thrilling part of reading corporate reports? The suspense of whether they’ll be profitable or just another episode of ‘The Office’!.
• Headline: Truman to Watch Army Play Oklahoma Eleven. Impact: Truman attending a football game could have sparked a trend of world leaders becoming sports commentators, changing the face of political discourse forever.. Fact: Because nothing says ‘serious leader’ like cheering on a college football team instead of addressing a global crisis!.