AUGUST 25, 1946

Full News Archive

• Headline: Delaware University Grants for Research. Impact: The funding of chemical research at Delaware University accidentally inspired a student to invent a new type of superglue that accidentally led to the creation of a must-have, overly sticky phone case. You're welcome, phone accessory industry!. Fact: Did you know that 'chem engineering' is basically just a fancy way of saying 'we mix stuff until it explodes or smells good'?.
• Headline: Nine-Finger Scherzo Unveiled in 1946. Impact: Butler's homage to Hemingway sparked a chain reaction of writers feeling pressured to lose fingers to be more 'authentic.' Spoiler alert: it didn't work, but it did increase the sales of prosthetic fingers.. Fact: Fun fact: the more fingers you lose, the more profound your poetry sounds... apparently..
• Headline: Censorship Hinders US Insights on USSR. Impact: Rev D A Lord's realization about Soviet censorship led to rampant speculation that the USSR was hiding the best-kept secrets of their potato recipes. This has led to a global potato renaissance.. Fact: Censorship: where even the potatoes are in on the conspiracy!.
• Headline: People Who Read and Write. Impact: The credit given to P Guedalla for authorship caused a ripple in the literary world, prompting a flurry of lawsuits from every author who ever wrote anything remotely similar. It's still not clear if anyone got paid.. Fact: Authors are basically just really passionate people who argue about who thought of what first while sipping on overpriced coffee..
• Headline: Tito Says U.S. Airmen Spy On Army in Venezia Giulia; Charges Purpose of Flights Over Area Is Reconnaissance--Victims of Aug. 19 Crash Are Found in Common Grave. Impact: Tito's accusations of U.S. airmen spying led to a decades-long game of hide-and-seek that resulted in a whole series of spy novels, none of which were accurate but all of which sold like hotcakes.. Fact: Spy novels: the only genre where you can be completely wrong and still be a bestseller!.
• Headline: Pick Your Language; The cemplex interpreting system tried in Nuremberg will be used at U.N. meetings.. Impact: The multiple interpretation system at U.N. meetings inadvertently spawned a new career: 'professional whisperers' who now charge exorbitant fees to translate the same thing in five different accents.. Fact: Interpreting: where you can get paid to be confused in multiple languages!.
• Headline: BACK IN REALTY. Impact: G M Whitehouse's return to realty sparked a real estate boom, where everyone suddenly believed they were qualified to sell houses, leading to an influx of 'real estate gurus' who really just know how to use Zillow.. Fact: Realty: where even your mom thinks she can sell your house better than a professional because she watched a few YouTube videos..